Top 5 Friday: Best Nintendo 64 Games

 

 

 

 

Of all the countless numbers of gaming systems our generation has had, Nintendo 64 is still my most favorite. I'm still playing it to this day. This weeks Top 5 Friday I will be counting down my top 5 favorite Nintendo 64 games.

#5 Mario Party

Countless numbers of fun mini games. Mario Party is such an enjoyable game that will never get old. This game is such a success I think they are up to Mario Party 55 on their newest Nintendo console. Although you will end up sacrificing your palm with blisters, your always in for a good time with this game. Bowser is an absolute bully in this game. That ugly motherfucker. Play nice for me one time. One little pet peeve I have with this game... Why does Toad ask if you want a star? Who would ever say no? I just had to paddle a fucking canoe against 3 people to get to you. I busted my ass to get to you after all these map changes now give me my fucking star.

Confession: I haven't stopped digging a penis in the digging mini game since I was 10.
 
 #4 Super Mario 64 / The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time / Donkey Kong 64

 

3 way tie. The best 1 player games Nintendo 64 has to offer. It's tough putting one ahead of the other. Nothing is more rewarding than the accomplishment of completing these games. Jumping threw paintings, collecting the 8 red coins, and throwing Bowser on spikes during a hard fought journey to collect 120 stars while battling awful camera views. The game ultimately ends with you meeting Yoshi who was just chilling alone on Peach's Castle all game instead of helping out. Yoshi tells you that you beat the game, gives you 100 lives that you no longer need, and just jumps off the god damn Castle to never be seen again.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time is one of Nintendo's best 1 player games. There's so much shit that has to be done in this game. This game is probably my favorite video game soundtrack. Catchy ass tunes. Link's long adventure through so many bosses and Temples and even puberty will give you all the entertainment you need. It is so refreshing getting through Ganondorf's castle to disturb him playing his piano and save Zelda. By the way, move the fuck over Billy Joel. The Great King of Evil is the true Piano Man. Oh and FUCK THE WATER TEMPLE!

Donkey Kong 64 is such a fun ride. King K Rool barges the fuck in on his 500 foot high Alligator ship (I see he didn't have to go under any bridges) and kidnaps all Donkey Kongs friends and confiscates all his golden bananas intending on blowing up DK's island. This croc flat out hate's those monkeys. Donkey Kong now has to get his friends and bananas back and save his island. The graphics were great for the time and all the bosses and tasks were so well put together that this game was flat out awesome. The end battle in the boxing ring vs King K Rool is one of the most fun boss battles any game has to offer. If anybody tells you they played this game and didn't rock out to the DK rap and still know every word are not telling you the truth.

 #3 Super Smash Brothers

 Superrrrrrrr Smaaaaaaaaaaaashhhhhhh Brotherrrrrrrrrrrrrs. One of Nintendo's highest selling games. Nintendo took recognizable characters from all different kinds of games and put them at battle. Every character has their own unique move sets that you must strategically utilize to defeat your prolific Nintendo opponents. I always wanted to see Mario vs. Luigi and Pikachu get smacked with a beam sword by Fox. As fun as it is playing with friends, the games 1 player mode if awesome. Master Hand ain't got shit on me. Anybody remember the commercial for this game? One of my favorites. Easily hooked me right into pleading and whining for my Mom to bring me to Toys R Us and get this game. I haven't looked back since. The newest Smash Bros game for Wii U is one of my favorite games... dare I say.... ever?

#2 GoldenEye 007

 

Classic. The Bond music gets me feeling some kind of way. This game paved the way for all shooting games including that gay Call of Duty shit that these gamers obsess over today. It was fun and simple. At the time, the graphics were great. The single player mode has a great story behind it and playing in the first-person really puts you in control of James Bond. Playing as the Pierce Brosnan Bond and just straight up ruthlessly murdering people. Cool levels, cool characters, and cool weapons. The Golden Gun is legendary and I guess the only realistic gun in the game. 1 shot and your dead. Usually how it goes. Not 25 shots to the head, taking a deep breath, and healing 100% without visiting the hospital. Just back to killing. One of the most fun games back in the day and it still holds up to this day.

#1 Mario Kart 64

 

Welcome to Mario Kart! The undisputed champion of all video games. Who would of thought putting fictional characters on a go-kart would be one of the greatest ideas in video game history? This games an absolute blast. If Mario Kart 64 wasn't part of your childhood, you were deprived. Find me anybody in the world who doesn't like this game. From strategically using the lightning in Wario Stadium, getting plunked by oil trucks on Toads Turnpike, trying to hit the short-cut jump on Koopa Troopa Beach, or falling into the lava on the bone bridge at Bowsers Castle, this game is the GOAT of not only N64, but the history of all video games. All Hail the Kart!

PS: I'm Yoshi. Always. Fuck off.

There you have it. My top 5 Nintendo 64 games. Those were the days yo. There's so many awesome games the N64 produced so I'm going to leave you with a few honorable mentions. Agree? Disagree? What's your 5 favorite N64 games?

Honorable Mentions:

• Tony Hawk's Pro Skater (it was really hard keeping this off)
• Star Fox 64
• Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball
• All Star Baseball 2000
• NBA Jam
• Pokemon Stadium
• WCW Revenge
• WWF No Mercy
• WWF WrestleMania 2000
• Diddy Kong Racing
• Perfect Dark
• Yoshi's Story
• Mario Tennis
• Mario Golf

Yea I guess by some honorable mentions I meant a lot.

New York Giants Make it Rain with Major Free Agent Signings

 

We are baaaaaaack! We are baaaaaaack! We are getting Doug back! Sorry, we got our defense back. As we all know, the Giants had a whole lot of cap money this offseason and they opened their wallets during the first day of free agency.

One day before the league year began, the Giants took back defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul . JPP signed for a 1 year deal. Then today struck and the Giants went buck wild. This morning the G-Men signed the best cornerback available, Janoris Jenkins. For lunch, Big Blue made a deal with former Jets defensive tackle Damon Harrison. Then... Oh and then..... The Giants came to an agreement with the biggest prize on the free agent market for their main course. OLIVIER VERNON! Shit did they go in today! Blowing money real fast. Hats off to Jerry Reese. If you're going to play and pay big in free agency, getting young players in their prime is the best thing to do. That is what the New York Giants did on the first day of free agency. Today is a great day Giant fans. Let's take a closer look to these signings.


Jason Pierre-Paul

The Giants and their 2010 15th overall draft pick came to a 1 year deal worth up to 10.5 million dollars. The fact that this is a 1 year deal is great for JPP and the Giants. Pierre-Paul will have his hand surgically repaired and will have a year audition to prove to the league that he can still get after the quarterback. Even despite his horrific fireworks accident resulting in JPP playing with a gigantic club on his hand he was still a top pass rusher on the free agent market. Pierre-Paul actually turned down more money elsewhere. I know the Cardinals were interested in him and he turned down playing for a great defense to stay with the team that drafted him and stuck with him through a ridiculously foolish off-field accident. Due to the money they shelled out today on free agency, this very likely could be the last season we see Jason Pierre-Paul wearing Giants blue.

 Janoris Jenkins

With the first team transaction of free agency the Giants went right to cornerback Janoris Jenkins. The Giants broke their piggy bank right away signing Jenkins to a 5 year 62.5 million dollar deal. $29 million is guaranteed. Jenkins has the second highest guaranteed salary to Darrelle Revis. Jenkins is a young cornerback. He is 27 years old. The Rams were kicking around giving Jenkins the franchise tag but they did not. Thank you St. Louis. I mean, Los Angeles. I've had random people ripping me from St. Louis on twitter saying he gives up big plays. I can't say I've watched Janoris Jenkins too closely unless he was one of the punk fucks trying to hit Odell Beckham Jr. in or off play when they squared off. Jenkins strengthens a weak secondary. Between Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie and Janoris Jenkins, the Giants have two very worthy cornerbacks not to fuck with.

Damon Harrison

"Snacks" is jumping ship from the Jets to the New York Giants. The defensive tackle will be joining a revamped Giants defensive line. The Giants and Harrison agreed to a 5 year 46.25 million dollar deal with $24 million guaranteed. Harrison is an excellent run-stopper. Harrison and Jonathan Hankins are going to make an outstanding duo clogging up the middle against the run. The Giants gave up the 9th most rushing yards last year. Snacks got a lot of money but the Giants have a lot of money and Big Blue wants to have front line domination like they had during their 2 most recent Super Bowl runs.

Olivier Vernon

Here's the big momma pussy cat. The young pass rusher commenced a lot of appeal. The Giants wanted and needed this cat real bad and proved so by giving him the most guaranteed money ever by a defensive end. The Jaguars were highly invested in signing Vernon too but the good guys got the guy they wanted. Olivier Vernon signed with the Giants for 5 years $85 million with a whopping $52 million guaranteed. This guy is got to match up to this contract. Did the Giants over pay? Most likely. Unless this guy puts together a monstrous Strahan-esk season. The G-Men completely revamped their defensive line into one of the top lines into the league. Shit got real folks. The Giants will finally be a feared pass rushing team. The Spags formula of only rushing the front 4 or sometimes 5 on the line and keeping everyone back into coverage should be back this season. The Giants clearly made it a big point to get back to having a dominant defensive front-line and Vernon is going to be the biggest part of it and must deliver.


Still holes to fill....
The Giants cashed in big time today. The defense was in dire need and they turned to free agency for their pass rush and some help in the secondary. However, all isn't solved. The Giants still have a horrific linebacker core, weakness at safety, a receiving option, and most importantly they need to do something about the right side of their offensive line. Now that a shit load of the Giants money has been spent. All they can do is free agency is try to find bargains. From the looks of reports out there, it appears that Victor Cruz will be restructuring his contract and staying with the team. Very good if this is true. Either way the Giants still can't do too much in free agency outside looking for very cheap and short year bargains.

The big source for upgrading this team now comes with the 10th pick in the NFL draft. This is such an important pick. This pick is going to shape up the offseason. Whoever the Giants select is going to have a major role with the team THIS season. Jerry Reese shelled out a lot of money to potential big players but not completely established big players. These guys need to produce. The Giants play in a very weak division and had the best offseason already. For a team that was somehow a competitive 6-10 (we all know the way they lost games last year), todays monster signings and this years NFL draft could be what it takes to give the Giants their first NFC East Division title since 2011. New coach, new defense, new Giants.


Hey Eli, how do you feel about your teams moves today?

 

Complete Analysis of the New York Giants Pivotal Offseason

 

NFL Free Agency begins this Wednesday. No move was bigger this offseason than the departure of 2 time Super Bowl champion coach Tom Coughlin. Giants GM Jerry Reese was on the hot season but kept his job. This is an offseason he absolutely cannot fuck up. The New York Giants have the third most cap space of any NFL team and the 10th overall draft pick. After having one of the worst defenses and rush attack in the league last season, the 4 time Super Bowl champions face the most pivotal off season they've had in a long time.


Here's moves the Giants have made already:

• Tom Coughlin "resigns" as head coach

• Ben McAdoo named Giants Head Coach

• Jon Beason retired

• Geoff Shwartz and Will Beatty released

• Quarterbacks Coach Mike Sullivan promoted to Offensive Coordinator

Current Roster Decisions to be Made:


Jason Pierre-Paul

 One of the toughest and most important decisions the Giants have to decide on is Jason Pierre-Paul. JPP and his agent are going to look for a contract that pays him within the top 10 alongside the leagues defensive ends. Is he worth that. After retartedly blowing up his hand in a fireworks accident, JPP had to play with a gigantic club on his hand that gave him no grip. The Giants did not use their franchise tag on once probowl defensive lineman. Had they given Pierre-Paul the franchise tag it would of cost the team around $15 million. If any team is willing to take a shot on Jason Pierre-Paul and pay him what he's looking for, the Giants will more than likely let him go. I'd hate to see him play for another team and do sick. It would absolutely kill me, but I'd hate for him to stay and suck. Decisions decisions....


Victor Cruz

 Another really tough and important decision. The Giant told Victor Cruz to take a pay cut or be released. Cruz suffered a major knee injury in 2014 against the Eagles and hasn't played since October 12th of 2014. Today the Giants told him they want to restructure his 5 year $45 million contract extension that he signed in 2013 or the will release him. The Giants must really be looking to make a splash in free agency. We don't know if Cruz is going to be the same player he once was. The Giants feel is Cruz was a free agent that his value would not be crucial at all. Cruz will probably make more money staying with the Giants than exploring free agency. It all depends what the market for Cruz will be. The Wide Receivers in free agency is not very flashy.

I think Cruz still brings upside. He's proven the league wrong before by making it in the NFL and performing at a high level, now he has to prove the NFL wrong again showing that he can bounce back from a crucial injury that has kept him out of the league for over 20 straight games. If I ever saw the salsa dance done by Cruz in any uniform but the Giants, it will bring tears to my eyes. I absolutely love Victor Cruz. It's been a Giants fan dream to see Cruz as our #2 Wideout to Odell Beckham Jr. The best case scenario is that Cruz will still make more with the Giants than he will in free agency and he will take a pay cut giving the team more cap space and he can stay with the organization that gave him his golden opportunity in this league.


Prince Amukamara

Is Prince worth it? Is he worth signing to a long term deal like he wants? Prince is one of the most injury prone players the Giants had since drafting him in the first round in 2011. After Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, the Giants are extremely weak at cornerback. I think he's a good player and I don't mind him as the 2nd cornerback but he's unreliable to stay healthy. The Giants may have to part ways with Amukamara unless the contract is right.


Robert Ayers

Ayers had a good season with the Giants. The Giants can't completely blow up their defense by letting all their players go. Ayers isn't going to be massively expensive but the question still arises of what the Giants do with JPP and who they are looking for in free agency.


Ruben Randle

If you have to question a players effort it's never a good thing. His production is very inconsistent. I like Randle as a 3rd wideout but he cannot be the teams 2nd. If the Giants let Cruz and Randle go, and Hakeem Nicks for that matter... Dwayne Harris will be the teams #2 wide receiver and that is a no-go-bro. Randle is not going to be an expensive player for any team. If Cruz takes the pay cut and stays and the Giants shop around for another receiver, Randle's time here is over. The decisions at wide receiver for Jerry Reese are not going to be easy.


Notable players the New York Giants could go for in Free Agency:

Linebacker: Bruce Irvin, Tahir Whitehead, Danny Trevathan, James Laurinatitis, Jerrell Freeman, Mason Foster, Stephen Tulloch, Rolando McClain

Defensive End: Mario Williams, Oliver Vernon, Jason Pierre Paul, Greg Hardy, Aldon Smith, Chris Long, Mark Barron, Tamba Hali, Danny Trevathon, Chad Greenway, Zach Brown, Sean Witherspoon

Defensive Tackle: Malik Jackson, Haloti Ngata, Damon Harrison, Charles Johnson, Nick Fairley, Robert Ayers

Running Back: Doug Martin, Matt Forte, Doug Martin, Arian Foster

Wide Reciever: (WEAK) Marvin Jones, Anquan Boldin, Rishard Matthews, Brandon LaFell, Percy Harvin, Roddy White, Marques Colston, Mohamed Sanu, Andre Johnson, Rueben Randle

Cornerback: Janoris Jenkins, Sean Smith, Prince Amukamara, Casey Hayward, Adam Jones, Brandon Boykin, Patrick Robinson

Saftey: Eric Weddle, Tashuan Gipson, George IIoka, , Walter Thurmond III, Reggie Nelson

Offensive Lineman: Kelechi Osemele, Russel Okung, Alex Mack Mitchell Shwartz, Bobbie Massie, Jeff Allen

Tight End: Antonio Gates, Ledaius Green, Dwayne Allen, Coby Fleener, Marcedes Lewis, Jermaine Gresham

My Top 5 Players I want the Giants to target:

1. Oliver Vernon - The Dolphins placed a transition tag on Vernon which means the Dolphins will have 7 days to match any offer any other team sends to Vernon. The Giants have the cap room to give this 25 year old pass rusher an offer the Dolphins would more than likely not match considering the contract Suh has.

2. Bruce Irvin - The Giants best linebacker since Antonio Pierce was Jon Beason and he could never stay on the field. Irvin comes from a great defense and can really help out the Giants in their 4-3 defense. Linebacker is a position the Giants will more than likely get in free agency than the draft.

3. Malik Jackson - The draft is pretty deep with defensive end pass rushers. Malik Jackson is a versatile interior lineman. He had an awesome post season for the Super Bowl champion Denver Broncos. Jackson is going to get a big payday from somebody and it's not going to be the Broncos. The Giants can give him that money. The Giants could sign Jackson, draft a defensive end, and sign Robert Ayers and establish a defensive front line pass rush again.

4. Kelechi Oemele - This would set the Giants up at offensive line perfectly. Oemele is the best run blocker on the market and would immediately give the Giants offensive line a name. The Giants had one of the worst rush attacks in the NFL last season and gave a lot of money to Rashad Jennings and Shane Vereen. Oemele will not come cheap and I don't know if the Giants top priority is to pay an offensive lineman via free agency. Oemele will be an instant upgrade for whatever team snags him.

5. Mario Williams - Some people are down on Williams after just having the worst season of his career. I'm not so quick to downgrade a #1 overall draft pick. Williams was unhappy in Buffalo and now he's leaving and starting a new slate. The Giants are visiting with Williams so they are certainly interested in the multi time probowler. He'd be moving from a 3-4 to a 4-3 which he'll be much more comfortable with. He'd be cheaper than Oliver Vernon and brings an upside to the Giants defensive line that they really need.

 The NFL Draft

 After a second consecutive 6-10 season. The New York Giants will have the 10th overall pick in the NFL draft. As much as I preach how much help the Giants need defensively and on the offensive line. The G-Men should really just take the best and most immediate impact player that falls to them at #10. This is a draft pick Jerry Reese cannot mess up. Outside of Odell Beckham Jr. the Giants haven't had strong drafts like they use to. The Giants are usually not making splashes in free agency because their usually resigning their drafted players. All this cap space that Big Blue has this offseason shows that their drafts have not been very successful. Whoever the Giants draft at #10 needs to be big part of the team this year. Here are some potential players the Giants could put a blue helmet on:


DE Shaq Lawson (Clemson)
A lot of mock drafts I see have Shaq Lawson falling past the #10 pick. I don't understand why he should fall past the New York Giants. This is exactly who I want the Giants to draft. The Giants need pass rushers. Lawson was the best player to the National Championship runner up Clemson Tigers. This kid and by kid I mean 6'3 270 pound young man should provide an instant pass rush. Lawson alongside JPP or Ayers would give the pass rush the credibility it needs.


WR LaQuon Treadwell (Ole Miss)
This rookie is probably better than any wide receiver in free agency this year. Despite how disastrous the Giants are on defense, they need a playmaker opposite Odell Beckham Jr. Treadwell is the best reciever in the 2016 class. He's 6'2 and can be the redzone target they desperately need. I'm sick of getting 3 points in the redzone. Defenses take away OBJ and the Giants have a revolving door at tight end and no runningback good or strong enough to punch it in behind a piss poor offensive line. If Treadwell falls to the Giants at 10 he may be the guy that can really open up the Giants offense with two great young wideouts to account for.


OT Jake Conklin (Michigan State)
The typical boring offensive line pick. I don't know if the Giants will go back to back years taking an offensive lineman in the first round. The Giants currently have Ereck Flowers at left tackle, Weston Richburg at center, and Justin Pugh at either left or right guard. Jake Conklin standing 6'6 out of the respected division 1 Michigan State University could take his natural right guard position and set the Giants offensive line up for time to come. Eli Manning and the run game would experience the best protection and holes to run through that they've had in years. Instead of a new lineman every week every year, the Giants offensive line can finally achieve consistency. Though back to back 1st round offensive lineman will surprise me, the problem at O-line will go away barring injuries or Conklin being a bust. Most experts aren't wrong about the top offensive lineman.


DE/LB Noah Spence (Eastern Kentucky)
Spence started his college career at Ohio State. After failing two drug tests, he received a ban from playing in the Big Ten. One failed drug test included ecstasy which occurred right before the Big Ten title game in 2013. After the ban Spence landed in Eastern Kentucky and dominated with 11.5 sacks. Noah Spence is going to be a player to keep your eyes on because his talent is tremendous but he brings some off-field baggage. Something the New York Giants are never quite fond of. I think the Giants should take a chance on this guy. He was worthy enough to be play for Ohio State and crushed his competition in Eastern Kentucky. The Giants don't need any more off-field incidents but they do need a pass rusher. This is one of those guys that will bring immediate impact. Jerry Reese will probably make a more conservative pick because his ass is on the hot seat and it's hotter than ever. If Spence stays out of trouble, he's going to wreak havoc on quarterbacks in this league.


RB Ezekiel Elliot (Ohio State)
Do I think Elliot is going to be one of the best runningbacks in the NFL? Yes I do? If he's not a New York Giant. Todd McShay (who I like 10 times more than Mel Kiper Jr.) recently made a new pick for the Giants at #10 and it was none other than Ezekiel Elliot. The Giants need to solve their problem at offensive line before investing in a runningback with the 10th overall pick. Runningbacks come and go and as special as Elliot is, he isn't the next Adrian Peterson. In the long run Ezekiel Elliot is going to be like every other runningback splitting carries. I love this kids talent but the Giants would waste their 10th pick by drafting him. The pick is too important to waste on a runningback when the team has o many more holes.


LB Myles Jack (UCLA)
A linebacker with quickness. More importantly, a linebacker. Only thing is he suffered a knee injury that ended his season. UCLA used Jack on both sides of the ball but that will not be happening in the NFL. Maybe for Chip Kelly but that's about it. Jack's intriguing because of his speed at the linebacker position. He extremely athletic and has a non-stop motor. Myles Jack is a player that will be all over the field. He's not afraid of contact but if his knee injury does not linger into his NFL career, he may be a good fit in a defense that needs all the help they can get.


The Giants can make a big impact this season with the right moves. Literally every move has to be right. I will miss Tom Coughlin, but the offense wont change too much even with a new offensive coordinator. The offense is still going to be McAdoo's offense which Eli Manning has put two awesome seasons together in. The NFC East is a weak division and the Giants have the best quarterback in it. With about $60 million in cap space and the 10th overall pick in the draft, the Giants can get back to having a winning season. All the pressure is on Jerry Reese. #MakeTheGiantsGreatAgain

Last Night Marked the Death of UFC

 

UFC had one of their biggest pay-per-views last night at the MGM Grand Garden arena. People were paying to see two of their top draws in Connor McGregor and Holly Holm. Surprising many, the two popular favorites both lost. The loss from these superstars last night now puts UFC in a bad spot.

The biggest draw in all of UFC is undoubtebly "The Notorious" Connor McGregor. Running his mouth all over non stop and knocking people out. He is must see. Now he was must see. It's cool when you talk the amount of shit that McGregor talks and back it up by winning. What's not cool is talking all the shit in the world and tapping out in the middle of the octagon. His ego made him move up a weight class. He should of just stayed in his weight class and not be a crazy cocky fuck trying to win a title at every weight class. So he's going to go back to fighting at 145 and talk shit to everybody like he didn't just submit to somebody with a 19-10 record who had 2 weeks notice to fight. Nobody should care about McGregor's next fight. I'm no longer getting suckered into Dana White's #1 cash crop. Who gives a shit if McGregor runs his mouth anymore? He's not the greatest like he claimed. This loss tarnished everything from Connor McGregor. He brought that on himself. I will no longer pay to see him fight anymore. Oh yea and anybody who puts Connor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather in the same sentence can put a two foot cock down their throat.

Last nights Miesha Tate upset over Holly Holm took away a future blockbuster pay-per-view for UFC. Holm is the bitch that gave Ronda Rousey a reality check. Instead of Rousey jumping right back and demanding a rematch, she took time off painting her naked body and doing movies and crying expecting us to feel sorry for herself. Holm put her title on the line and took on the next bitch up. If Holm won then UFC would of got Rousey vs Holm as their main event for their next pay-per-view which would of banked. That's just not happening anymore. Holm's loss to Tate fucked that shit up big time. They can still run the rematch but nobody will give a shit about it. So now Holm isn't this great fighter, she's literally just the bitch who beat Rousey. Good enough in my book I guess but I'm not opening my wallet for anymore of her fights.

These losses were absolutely shocking. The fact that any fighter can win in UFC is suppose to be pretty cool but now I'm not invested in any particular fighters anymore. The McGregor ride is over. The Rousey bandwagon is over and now so is her comeback train. All done with. Now UFC's biggest stars are a stripped champion who cant pass a drug test and a former WWE entertainer. It sucked buying a long dragging pay-per-view to see two fights which I ended up losing money on. We have just experienced UFC at it's greatest height. It will never be the same again. The biggest losers last night was UFC.

Top 5 Friday: Athletes I Want to Drink With

 

Let's have some fun. Every Friday I'll blog about a top 5 of a random topic. This inaugural Top 5 Friday will be about athletes I want to drink with. This was pretty hard to actually only select 5 people. There's countless number of athletes I'd love to party with. So without further to do here is the launch of the first Top 5 Friday!


#5 Michael Jordan

What are we Drinking? - Champagne

I mean this guys the greatest. I'd love to have a drink with MJ and just let him tell me how great he is and how he has the greatest life any professional athlete could ever have. I'd want to drink champagne with Jordan because he drank a whole lot of it. I want to drink like a winner with a winner. I'd love to get Jordan really drunk and let him start being a cocky fuck calling out his competition and bragging about how rich he is and maybe even make a couple of bets with me. That definitely wouldn't work out for me in the end. This guy does not accept losing. Anyway, anything that comes out of Jordans mouth interests me and there's no doubt that Michael Jordan is one of the most iconic sports figure ever. Most importantly, I neeeeeeed to know how he dunked on the Monstars like that. By the way this picture of Jordan is the super funny. Better than the crying face picture in my opinion.


#4 Mickey Mantle

What are we Drinking? - Whatever the fuck he wants.

Nobody and I mean nobody can peform better hungover than Mickey Mantle. This dude is my hero. Mantle is a 20 time All-Star and he got fucking shit bombed every night. He was so fucking good that he was able to abuse alcohol and still be better than everybody else on game day. "The Mick" was so good that his natural talent outweighed a healthy life style. Nothing can stop this 3 time MVP from being good at baseball. The sport was way too easy for him. I feel rather skilled in the 'Go to work hungover/still drunk department' so I know me and Mantle would be good for a Monday night turn up. I probably couldn't keep up with Mickey, but I'd risk alcohol poisoning for a night out with this man. Obviously his alcoholism caught up to him and he is no longer with us but he certainly had a great life and left an amazing legacy.


 #3 Michael Strahan

What are we Drinking? - New York Giants Special Edition Superbowl Bud Light Cans

Michael Strahan is my favorite football player of all time. His leadership inspires me. Strahan has an amazing personality and really comes off as a fun guy. I'd love to just drink some beers and let him let me into the behind the scenes of his career. Strahan is already hysterical. I can only imagine how funny he can be with a buzz on. I'm biased with Strahan because he's my boy but you can't tell me drinking with the great gap toothed NFL Hall of Famer wouldn't be any fun.


#2 Alex Rodriguez

What are we Drinking? - Patron and Seagrams Wine Coolers

Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez is my favorite athlete in all of sports. A-Rod's been so active on social media and since Derek Jeter retired, he seems rejuvenated and able to be more like himself. Nobody is funnier than A-Rod. Whether it's intentional or unintentional, he is hilarious. Whatever he says or any actions he makes, it's funny. I'd like to bring my premadonna out with THE premadonna himself and sip on some Wine Coolers with one of the greatest baseball players of all time statistically. I'd do just about anything to see A-Rod drunk. Alex seems like the type that once he gets that buzz he becomes an open book. Let's sit alongside a pool in Miami and get White Girl Wasted Alex.


#1 Joe Namath

What are we Drinking? - Scotch till we Drop. Or I drop.

"I'd rather go to Vietnam than get married." If there's a sex life I envy it's Broadway Fucking Joe's. This man had a drink in one hand and a gorgeous woman in the other. You may be surprised that Namath is my number 1 because I hate the Jets but I respect the hell out of this icon off the football field. Joe Namath was the Bachelor of Bachelors. If I can pick up one of Joe's scraps it would be the best 9 seconds of my life. I want to get retartedly fucked up wit Joe Namath. Retartedly fucked up to the point that I'm asking out sideline reporters live on national television. Nobody has a more soothing voice than Joe Willie Namath. I can listen to him talk all day. Let's get fucked up Joe. Please. Teach me how to really throw back alcohol. Show me how that shit is done. No grandpa has more swag than Joe Namath. Let's down some scotch and pick up some chicks. You'd probably sleep with a younger girl than I would. "If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?"


There's many athletes that ran through my mind that I'm going to give some honorable mentions. I won't provide details but I mean what's a party without these guys.

• Derek Jeter
• Lawrence Taylor
• Rob Gronkowski
• The 86 Mets
• Charles Barkley
• Shaquille O'Neal
• Alexander Ovechkin

Thanks for checking out the first Top 5 Friday. Check in every Friday for a new Top 5 of something. Who are yours? I'd love to hear! Share your top 5 in the comments below. I appreciate all those who check into the Sharks Territory blog. Happy Friday! Success and nothing less.

Jimmy Buffet IS Performing at Jones Beach this Summer

 

Party on! When the Nikon at Jones Beach Theater released the 2016 summer schedule, the familiar name of Mr. Jimmy Buffet was left off the list. My overreaction was a bit premature because Buffet is coming back to Jones Beach in 2016 baby. Better late than never.

There's no better way to end this summer than with Long Island's greatest parking lot party. Jimmy Buffet hits Jones Beach Thursday August 25th. Take off from work that day and I'd advise taking the Friday after off as well because shits about to go down! The lots will start filling up bright and early so prepare yourself for a full day extravaganza. There's nothing like being shit bombed by noon. Something I don't object to any day but it's socially acceptable when this guy is in town.

It is not the concert that makes this day great. Well for me at least. The tailgate is just one of a kind. Last year was the first time I attended the big parking lot party and it was remarkable. It is now a day I will look forward to for the rest of my life so I hope Jimmy B keeps it kicking for a long time. The convenience of it being right down the parkway makes it a hell of a lot better as well. The majority of the people at this event do not go into the concert and party all day in the sun across the different theater lots. The vibes are great, the people are fantastic, and there's country music playing everywhere.

I can't recommend this experience enough. I jumped the gun thinking Buffet wasn't going to make his annual trip to Jones Beach. I couldn't be more happy with the announcement, even if it was delayed. The fact that it was taken away from me for about 15 days made it 10 times better when the August 25th concert date was announced. See you all there. Cheers.

 

The Man who Stalked Erin Andrews Tells All

 

Erin Andrews is a famous and beautiful sports reporter. Probably the best looking reporter in the history of sports. One day her life came crashing down when pictures and videos of her naked in her hotel room surfaced across the internet. The man behind secretly stalking Erin Andrews admitted to his actions and explained how he did it.

Michael David Barrett is a man who like most males in this world wanted to see Erin Andrews naked. Barrett took things a bit too far for his fantasy to become a reality. This guy went to extreme measures to find out where Erin was staying so he could invade her privacy. He modified the peep hole in her room so that he can film Erin Andrews naked after her shower. Michael Barrett posted these onto the internet and Erin Andrews' life took an unexpected turn.

Michael David Barrett testified by coming clean to what he did and how he did. Here is how Barrett went about crushing poor Erin Andrews' privacy and damaging her reputation:

• He got Andrews' room number by calling the hotel operator and requested to be connected

• When his call was put through, her room number appeared on the phone display allowing him to book the room next door

• He waited for her to leave the room and then he modified the peephole with a hacksaw which allowed him to see inside the room

• He listened in his room for her to take a shower. When the shower turned off, he got out of his room and started filming her through the peephole with his cell phone

  Barrett revealed his rash plan at a civil trial which Andrews is suing not only Barrett but the Nashville Marriot at Vanderbilt University for 75 million dollars. Andrews is suing the hotel saying they didn't properly protect their guest. Andrews told jurors that it ripped her apart when some people say that the videos was a publicity stunt. She broke down and said she's anxious and depressed, and still gets taunted online by people who've seen the videos of her. Even ESPN wasn't totally sure. They required Andrews to have a public interview before she's allowed back to work. What absolutely drives me crazy is the intentions behind this perverts actions....

When Barrett was asked why he filmed Andrews, he said he was in debt at the time. He made a series of bad investments and hoped to profit off the footage. When he was unable to do so, he just put it up on the internet for free. When asked why he posted the video online for free he responded by saying "That is a great question, and I really have thought about it over the years, and I don't have a good answer for it. I don't know."

You don't know? How the fuck do you not know? This guy is just plain sick. Believe me I looked at the videos and I liked what I saw. The only rightful answer I would of accepted from this demented sicko is that he is sacrificing his life for all the men out there. This is just plain wrong. I shouldn't have seen these photos and videos and neither should of anybody else.

I feel horrible for Erin Andrews. She's going on with her normal day not knowing this guy flipped her peephole around. Not knowing she's being filmed by this creepy bastard outside of her hotel door. Think about how scary that is. Michael David Barrett is brutally honest. He admits to how guilty he was. Admitted his whole plan, how it was executed and how he didn't have a god damn reason behind doing it. Barrett even confessed to filming about 10 other women in hotels and posting the videos online. He just does this. He doesn't even profit of it! If this guy had a 12 pack with me and my friends on a Friday night he could of made a profit. How do you just post these pictures online and expect no consequence? Especially from a dime like Erin Andrews. I don't know how Andrews is going to get a whole lot of money from this poor investing scumbag but I hope Erin Andrews gets the justice she deserves.

To see the up to date trial, Youtube has it in it's entirety. To see Erin Andrews naked, just google that shit.