Top 5 Friday: Greatest WrestleMania Matches

 

This Sunday WWE is presenting their biggest show of the year. WrestleeeeeManiaaaaaaaaa (Vince McMahon voice). In honor of this sundays big event Top 5 Friday will be dedicated to the 5 greatest matches in WrestleMania history. If you aint down with my top 5 I GOT 2 WORDS FOR YA!

By the way.... How the fuck does a billionaire like Vincent Kennedy McMahon not get the WWF name over fucking World Wildlife Fund? Alright, on with the Top 5.


 #5 WrestleMania 22: Edge vs Mick Foley

"Ohhhhhh myyyyyyy goddddddd!" Joey Styles screamed it best. Holy shit was this match entertaining. Mick Foley is a hardcore legend and age doesn't stop this guy from taking the biggest bumps in wrestling. If Foley is in a hardcore match, it is must see. You don't need to have any wrestling interest to be entertained by these two mens performances. The famous thumbtacks and barbed wire bat made an appearance in this battle with Edge taking the worst of it. This match was awesome from start to finish. The finish though.... Oh my god what a fucking finish to this match. People will never forget the ending to this match. With Foley on the apron, Lita sets a table behind Foley on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes as they both crash onto the burning table. Holy Shit!

Random: How the hell did Mick Foleys sperm create such a goddess of a daughter?

#4 WrestleMania 21: Kurt Angle vs Shawn Michaels

It was about 30 minutes of two unbelievably gifted superstars leaving everything they had out there in the ring. There wasn't a title on the line. It was all about pride from 2 of the best in the business. Kurt Angle and Shawn Michaels usually carry their opponents into making their match special so when you put them in the ring against one another you have yourself one of the greatest matches of all time. You never wanted this match to end. It was a very technical match that had some high risks. Each competitor landed their signature moves but it wasn't putting their opponent away. This match saw a lot of kick-outs and quick reversals. The Heart Break Kid hit Angle with a Sweet Chin Music and Angle kicked out in one of the best near falls you will ever see. By the way Shawn Michaels superkick hurts people ten times more than anybody elses superkick. The match finished with Kurt Angle relentlessly not letting go of the ankle lock eventually forcing HBK to tap.

 #3 WrestleMania 17: TLC Edge and Christian vs The Hardy Boyz vs The Dudley Boyz

Non. Stop. Action. No way am I talking about fucking TNA. So many big spots. Such a masterful match. All 6 wrestlers put their bodies on the line in a match that featured Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. These are the 3 greatest tag teams of all time. I don't care what anybody says. If you want to argue the Hardy Boyz arn't, I can accept that because Matt Hardy is fucking gay. No he doesn't like men. He just doesn't have an ounce of talent that his brother has. The chemistry between these 3 teams led to one of the greatest matches in not just WrestleMania history, but in wrestling history. There were so many big spots in this match. They just happenedd over and over and over again. Even Lita took a huge ass bump in this match. She almost fucked up her neck big time. Bubba Ray Dudley and Matt Hardy fell through like 100 tables stacked together. Sorry, minus that by 94. But nothing. AND THE SHARK MEANS NOTHING! will ever top Edge spearing a dangling Jeff Hardy 15 feet in the air off the ladder. That shit was fucking awesome. What a match!


#2 WrestleMania 25: Shawn Michaels vs The Undertaker

"As a wrestling fan how can you ask for anything more?" BAH GAWD! Well said JR. These two icons delivered such a compelling match. Two of the biggest WW(F)E superstars of all time delivered one of the most unbelievable and memorable matches ever. It was tough not to put this match #1 because I ended up getting so invested in it because I really thought The Showstopper was going to end the Undertakers WrestleMania streak. No superstar obsessed over ending Takers streak more than Michaels and he put the Undertaker to the test in this match. They hit each other with their signature moves so much and had so many near falls you just kept saying "ok now its over, he won." but they kept kicking out! Undertakers reactions to not being able to put HBK away said everything you needed to know about the heart these 2 put into this match. The crowd was insane in this match. Probably the best crowd in a WrestleMania match after The Rock and Hollywood Hogan. This match was 30 minutes of non stop potential endings that wouldn't end. At last the match came to it's conclusion as HBK went for a moonsault and was caught by Undertaker and he delivered the tombstone piledriver and got the 3 count. Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker proved to the world why they are legends. They outperformed everybody and they were in their 40's. What an unbelievable match.


 #1 WrestleMania 13: Bret "The Hitman" Hart vs Stone Cold Steve Austin

 "If you put S in front of Hitman you have my exact opinion of Bret Hart." God you got to love the Texas Rattlesnake. Just not as much as good ol' JR. He literally climaxes everywhere over Stone Cold. At first your confused as to why this was a submission match when Bret Hart's finishing move is a submission move and Stone Cold isn't a submission wrestler. Austin just stomps mud holes and flips people off. Little did we know that we were going to be witnesses to the greatest and most important matches in WW(F)E history. This set the stage for Austin to take over and change the face of wrestling.

This was such a gritty fucking match. Austin was suppose to be the heel in this match and Bret Hart was suppose to be the good guy and those roles flipped in this match. Chair shots left and right. Hart even hit Austin with the ring bell. The Hitman left Austin a bloody mess but Austin showed some grit and spirit that was winning the fans over. One of the most famous images of all time is Stone Colds face covered in blood locked in Bret Hart's Sharp Shooter submission. Austin was done for but refused to tap leaving him to just pass out and give Hart the victory. After the match Bret Hart attacked Austin until Ken Shamrock broke it up. For some reason he was the special guest referee. That dude needs to stop fighting he's like 50 and getting in the ring with Kimbo Slice. Crazy fuck. Bret Hart would exit the ring to a crowd full of boos but it was Austin who was out cold getting all the love from the crowd. Austin lost the match but won over everybody as the crowd chanted "Austin Austin Austin." This match set the stage for the "Attitude Era" where Stone Cold Steve Austin became a monumental face of wrestling and as the saying goes.... "the rest is history."

　

I hope everyone enjoyed my Top 5 Greatest WrestleMania matches and I hope those who are watching WrestleMania 32 this Sunday enjoy the show. I was very down on this years Mania due to all the injuries but damn I really think this is going to be one of the better WrestleMania's we've seen in a while. At least John Cena can't ruin it by winning the main event but unfortunately that untalented, 5 moved, HORRIFIC speaker Roman Reigns is going to become WWE champ. Thank god I will have my friends drunk father to entertain me all night so I'll have a good show no matter what. Love you Shereef! That was my Top 5 WrestleMania matches and that's the bottom line because Sharks Territory said so!

Honorable Mentions

Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels (Iron Man Match)
Any Rock vs Austin
The Rock vs Hollywood Hogan
Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior
Bret Hart vs Vince McMahon
Michael Cole vs Jerry "The King" Lawler
(TOTALLY KIDDING ABOUT THE LAST 2!)
Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar