Tim Tebow Pursuing a Career in Baseball

 

UNLEASH! Tim Tebow is back in the news with a surprising new career choice. The former Heisman trophy winner who can't find a contract from any NFL team due to his below par passing strength and accuracy is now going to attempt to become a baseball player.

This makes Tim Tebow a 29 year old baseball prospect. This is also bearing a minor league team signing him. Which I'm sure will happen because he was certainly put butts in the seats. Tim Tebow is one of the best college football quarterbacks of all time but his game did not transition into the NFL. Despite being a first round pick and winning a playoff game for the Denver Broncos, Tebow's NFL career only lasted a measily 3 years.

I feel bad for Mr. Tebow because he brings a media circus wherever he goes and he never asked or did anything to get the media attention he gets. I think teams would of given Tebow a shot if it wasn't for media frenzy that has forcably been put on him. But face it, Tebow wasn't really a good quarterback. He cannot play in the same playbook any other quarterback can play in. He needed his own type of playbook due to his passing restrictions. This is another reason why teams wouldn't even sign Tebow as their third quarterback.

Tim Tebow said his prayers and god is now taking him to the sport of baseball. He's surprisingly gotten overall good reviews from former players and a couple scouts who've seen him work out. This is no publicity stunt, the former football player and television broadcaster is holding a workout next month where all 30 MLB teams will be invited to check out Tebow.

So let's see what this guys got. Let's see if he prevails or fails yet again. In my opinion, I doubt we will ever see a major league at bat from Tim. I'm sure we will see and hear all about how he does in the minor leagues though. It's crazy to think that such a dominant college football quarterback at a top SEC school who won the Hiesman trophy, is looking to pursue a career in baseball now at the age of 29, but this is the new path Tebow's life has taken him.

　
By the way, does anybody know if this guy fucked anyone yet? It still blows my mind how someone that good looking doesn't bang beautiful women everyday. For fuck sakes he was the quarterback for a division 1 college and never had sex due to his religous beliefs. He wasted that just like his NFL career....

Apple is Replacing the Gun Emoji with a Watergun

Political correctness has now found it's way into the emoji's on our cell phones. Apple has replaced its hand gun emoji with a water pistol due to the recent gun violence that is unfortunately continuing in this country. Let's all take a second and ask ourselves one thing... How does changing a revolver into a fucking squirt gun change or help a god damn thing?

Apple thinking this positively impacts the gun violence issues in the country is so stupid. The gun emoji is actually one of my more popular used emoji's. Anytime something happens that I don't like, I would use that emoji as a suicidal text/tweet for comedic purposes. The gun emoji was used mostly during the NBA season naturally because I am a fan of the New York Knicks. I cannot use the water soaker gun in the same context. Impossible. Oh I'm so mad let me shoot some water on me. No. This doesn't have the same effect.

The removal of the gun emoji isn't going to change any gun matter. People have been getting shot way before your fucking emoji came out Apple. This bullshit is just another result of political correctness. Apple is always making politically correct emoji's but never did they change an existing one. They made black emoji's to appease #BlackLivesMatter even though there isn't any white emoji's. I guess we all just live in Springfield...

The gun emoji change will take place in September when Apple releases 100 new emoji's which will include a rainbow flag, female athletes, and single-parent families. Christ. Hit me with the fucking Harambe emoji already!
 

Jon "Bones" Jones Removed from UFC 200

 

You know a UFC pay-per-view is near when one if it's anticipated fights gets scratched from the card. In 'shocking' news, one of UFC's top draws Jon "Bones" Jones has been removed from this Saturday's UFC 200 fight with Daniel Cormier due to a potential doping violation. Once again, UFC disappoints it's growing fan base.

This is not the first time "Bones" Jones has been involved in this situation. He was stripped of his light heavyweight title back in 2015. UFC president Dana White had to pull the current headlining champion 3 days before UFC 200 after being informed of a potential doping violation by the USADA. Jones, though loving drugs, will have the opportunity for an appeal process, but he will not face Cormier Saturday under no condition.

Why even throw in the word potential? Jonny Jones loves the drugs. He was doping. Whether it's banned substances or cocaine, don't let Jones piss in a cup for you. "Bones" Jones has now failed drug tests around two of his past three scheduled fights. Jon Jones was suspended for most of 2015 after his involvement in a hit-and-run accident and clearly took advantage of his second chance(s). Talk about not giving a fuck.

UFC 200 was suppose to be the biggest pay-per-view in UFC history and has dealt with major push backs. Now, a WWE superstar who hasn't fought in UFC in over 4 years is headlining what was suppose to be a supershow. This pay-per-view was suppose to have all the big guns. Connor McGregor and Nate Diaz, Ronda Rousey, Holly Holm, Robbie Lawler, and even the debut of CM Punk. Instead, UFC gets another let down as the sports fighters just cannot fight on schedule. Which anticipating future fight will get scratched next?

Kevin Durant Sold Out

 

Look what LeBron James started with his "decision" when he was a free agent for the first time in his career. Kevin Durant has made a decision on what team he will be playing for and it is none other than.... The Golden State Warriors.

YOU SOLD OUT! What a fucking bitch move by KD. For somebody who was vocally upset about LeBron and Bosh joining Wade in Miami, you out LeBroned LeBron. Kevin Durant has agreed on a 2 year $54 contract with the Warriors who won an NBA record 73 regular season victories. The Warriors won the NBA championship two seasons ago, won the Western Conference Finals last season, and have the defending 2 time League MVP on their roster. Kevin Durant sold the fuck out and took the cowardly route to win a championship just like LeBron James did when he joined the Heat.

Oh your tired of being second Kevin? You are the second asshole superstar to do this bitch move. Your the second person who wants to win a championship by joining a team that's stacked. Your arguably the second best player on your new team who you are second to in championships and league MVPs. Kevin Durant took the low road to becoming an NBA champion and LeBron has paved the road for all future free agents to follow his and Durant's new way of winning titles.

If you can't beat them, join them. Right KD? You were so much better than this. Get ready for Cavs/Warriors III. The NBA remains un-excitingly predictable thanks to Durant's decision to ruin the one good thing about basketball and that was the competitiveness of the Western Conference. By the way, the Thunder are going to become the worst team in basketball if they can't get anything for Russell Westbrook. He has no reason to stay now, and that franchise which had such an exciting fan base with a loud ass arena is going to complete shit. The Thunder cannot get anything back for Westbrook like they didn't get anything back from Durant who turned his back on OKC.

What NBA superstar will sell out next?

CM Punk's UFC Debut Pushed back AGAIN!

 

Holy shit Phil. Just give this shit up. The former WWE superstar's UFC debut has been pushed back for well over a year now and it's getting comical at this point. Does anybody give a fuck to even see Punk fight anymore? Once again, CM Punk's first UFC fight has been bumped back.

CM Punk is now scheduled to fight Mickey Gall at UFC 203 on September 10th in Cleveland. I think Punks first UFC fight was suppose to be like fucking UFC 103 but he keeps pushing his fights back. I fully expect him not to fight in September and try to get the fight to November and then come up with another lame excuse not to fight then. Punk, real name Phil Brooks, signed with UFC all the way back in 2014 and still hasn't fought a match.

Just come back to the WWE. I feel like Punk doesn't want to do UFC anymore but now has to. I feel like he wants to come back to WWE but due to the way he walked out and swore he would never return he's got to be a stubborn prick and stick to his guns. I was interested in seeing Punk fight in UFC and making that transition with no backround fighting experience but now I just couldn't give a fuck. He's pushed his fight back so much that he's not even a flashy draw anymore. Just bitch and complain and walk out of UFC like you did WWE and be the Blackhawks mascot for the rest of your life. #PipeBomb

NHL Expansion Team Coming to Las Vegas

 

For the first time ever, the great city of Las Vegas will have a professional sports team. Yesterday the NHL officially approved expansion to Las Vegas with a team to play in 2017-2018. It was a unanimous decision to expand to Vegas and makes the city the 31st team in the league.

Isn't this awesome? Who would of ever thought the state that's the empire of gambling would ever be host of a professional sports team? The city finally has a home team to root for and certainly bet on. The 31st team in the league will begin play next hockey season and will be inluded in the Pacific Division. The current NHL playoff format will remain the same. The new Las Vegas show on ice will host their home games at the T-Mobile Arena located right on the greatest 4 miles in the United States. Yes, right on the Vegas strip next to New York New York.

The Las Vegas expansion team is the first expansion team in the NHL since the Columbus Blue Jackets and Minnesota Wild began play during the 2000-2001 season. The NHL was either going to put their new team in either Vegas or Quebec but Vegas was elected in a hands down majority. I don't care how Canadien hockey is, Las vegas is clearly the better money-making option.

Now there is a whole bunch of crazy ass shit with how the teamis going to be assembled. Here is a little bit of what the Las Vegas expansion team has to do to build their team.

Source: Craig Custance ESPN
In the expansion draft, which will take place next year, the Las Vegas franchise must select one player from each team for a total of 30 players, with at least 20 being under contract for the 2017-18 season. The franchise also must select at least 14 forwards, nine defensemen and three goaltenders.


Each existing team will have two options for protected lists, which they must submit by 5 p.m. ET on June 17, 2017: They can make seven forwards, three defensemen and one goaltender unavailable in the draft or do the same for eight skaters (forwards/defensemen) and one goaltender. Players in their first and second years and unsigned draft choices will be exempt from selection.


This is big time news for the wonderful city of Las Vegas Nevada. Now that Vegas has finally entered the world of sports, the city can potentially receive more teams. One of those teams coming from the most powerful leagues in the world. The NFL. The Oakland Raiders are strongly considering a move to Vegas. Now that Vegas has a team in one of the major professional sports, anything is possible.

This monumental news is very exciting. This Las Vegas hockey team is already one of my favorite hockey teams. 3rd favorite to be exact. Yeah, having 3 favorite teams is pretty wack. I'll be the first to admit it. But this is fucking hockey so who gives a shit. There's been no word yet on what the team name will be but owner Bill Foley says "Black Knights" is the front runner. I'm sure in some way shape or form, the media will find a way to make that name controversial. I think it's a stupid fucking name. How is the team name not going to be gambling related??!! Here are some names I think would be awesome.

Las Vegas Jokers

Las Vegas Flamingos (a Flamingo aint very intimidating but The Flamingo was the very first casino in Las Vegas. Pay some respect to Bugsy.)

Las Vegas Outlaws

Las Vegas Aces

Las Vegas Wolfpack (would make Allen Garner very proud. Zach Galifanikas would be in box seats for every home game.)


Team Mascot: Elvis

Team Slogan: This is our House. The House Always Wins.


Are you excited for the Vegas expansion team? What do you think their team name should be?

DERRICK ROSE TO THE NEW YORK KNICKS

 

The New York Knickerbockers acquired All Star point guard Derrick Rose from the Bulls today. You may know Derrick Rose as the youngest MVP in league history or you may know him as an injury plagued former super star who has played in 50 percent of his games the last 4 years. Despite Rose constantly battling injuries this is still a great trade for the Knicks anyway you look at it.


Here is the exact trade:

Bulls Get: G Jose Calderson G Jerian Grant and C Robin Lopez

Knicks Get: G Derrick Rose F Justin Holiday and a 2017 Second Round Pick


The biggest critisism Knicks fans have been hearing is that Rose is done and cannot stay healthy and there's a reason why the Bulls sent their former MVP guard packing in exchange for no superstar player. What makes this deal an absolute "Can't Lose" situation for New York is that Rose's contract expires after his one year in the big apple. Derrick Rose needs to stay healthy and perform well this season to prove to the league that he can still play. The NBA salary cap increases next season and if Rose wants to get paid like the player he was the first 3 seasons of his career, then he will need to be on the court and perform at the level he once blew all of us away at. Obviously Rose performing at that level for himself is extremely benefitial for the Knicks.

The Knicks didn't lose any cap space from this trade. What's better than getting the best player in a trade and freeing up cap room? Both Aaron Afflalo and Derrick Williams opted out of their player options which freed the Knicks up cap space especially with two players the majority of New Yorkers didn't want to see return. As of this very moment the Knicks only have 3 players under contract for 2017-2018 and that is Carmelo Anthony, Kristaps Porzingis, and Kyle O'Quinn. (How did O'Quinn get a multie year contract?) To sum this trade all up, The Knicks acquired a 27 year old former MVP, got themselves a pick in the 2017 draft, gave up no draft picks, and kept $30 million cap space. GREAT DEAL!

Now what do the Knicks need to do next? A backup point guard should be on the eyes of the Knicks because as of now if their new injury prone point guard goes down, the Knicks are fucked big time at that position. I would think in all likelihood, Langston Galloway will agree on a deal to return to the team. I don't think Phil Jackson is going to be going shopping for a long term point guard like Mike Conley after this recent Rose deal. The Knicks definetly need a center now that Lopez is gone. Pau Gasol and Dwight Howard are the big names on the block. With the cap going up next season, it shouldn't surprise anyone to see big name players sign one year deals and then look for there max deal next season. With the Knicks signing Rose and having him or a year, New York may be the one year rental vacation players are targeting. If the Knicks were to sign a legitmate player for a one year deal and Rose stays healthy (once again a big if), the Knicks would actually have a pretty competitive starting 5.

This is a low risk high reward trade for the Knicks. Let me rephrase that. This is a No risk high reward trade. Even if Rose doesn't play, the Knicks didn't trade anyone that was going to make them contendors this season or at any point in the future. No cap space was lost, and instead of losing a draft pick like our usual past trades have gone, the Knicks actually got a 2017 second round pick. The Knicks are obviously not done making moves this season. They only have 5 players on their roster. As of this very moment the only player Phil Jackson has kept since he's taken over the team is Carmelo Anthony. Maybe Rose will hype players to come play for the Knicks. Even if it's for one year. A healthy Rose with Melo and KP is a solid trio. When Rose plays he obviously makes the Knicks better and he is going to really give us a fun show to watch. Hopefully Rose thrives in his new scenery and gives us hopeless Knicks fans something to be excited about. I welcome you with open arms Derrick. I wonder what the next move for the Knicks will be...

The Knicks will be holding a press conference Thursday at 6:00 to address the deal. Oh and let's not forget the best part of all... Jose Calderon is outta here! Fuck off Jose! I hope you choke on a deep dish pizza you bum!

Darth Vader Confirmed for Rogue One



It's official! The most famous villain in cinema history is returning to the big screen for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. That's right, Darth Vader has been confirmed for the first Star Wars anthology movies.

It was the biggest question regarding the movie. The film takes place at a time Darth Vader reigned evil. Today, we have been graced with the great news. Entertainment Weekly confirmed that Vader will indeed be in Rogue One and it is believed he will have a bigger role than just a basic cameo. Here is a look at the Entertainment Weekly magazine cover revealing the exciting news.



 Now I'm ridiculously pumped up for this movie. I was feeling pretty negative on it after hearing about the film needing to do many reshoots but now I've got all I need. I'd imagine now that the news is out that the second trailer for Rogue One will have Darth Vader in it. Whether it's just a visual of him or if we hear his iconic breathing, Vader's reveal will be a major selling point to the movie and will get all my fellow geeks hyped the fuck up.

Having Darth Vader in the film certainly means the pressure is on. Lord Vader is a sensitive character to the Star Wars nerds out there. James Earl Jones has not been confirmed yet and they cannot go any other direction of having somebody else's voice playing the Jedi who broke bad. There's also no confirmation on who will be playing him under the suit but does anybody really give a shit about that? As happy as I am that Vader's in the movie, I will be mortified if he is butchered. We don't want another Revenge of Sith "NOOOOO" moment. I guess it can't be any worse than that. Thankfully the laughable cry of "NOOOOO" will not be our last impression of the Sith Lord. Rogue One hits theaters on December 16th. See ya at midnight.

 



NOW That's What I Call Music is Still Alive and Kicking

In 2001 a portable electronic devise for playing and storing digital audio and video files was released to the public. This devise is called the iPod. We live in a world today where CD's are barley even existent. I blog to you all today to inform you that NOW That's What I call Music is still producing CD's and are up to their 58th volume!

58 volumes! Holy shit! I remember buying the 4th and 5th volumes of this when I was 10 years old. I thought 6 of these was too much. How in the fuck are they up to 58?! They just pick 15-20 songs and throw them on a disc. People do that every day on iTunes. I'm on a website today and see NOW 58 being advertised and I couldn't begin to phantom that NOW is still putting fucking CD's out in 2016. By the way, not only porn websites have ads ok. Let's get that straight people. When was the last time you or anybody you know purchased a compact disc? New cars don't even come with CD players anymore.

NOW 58 was released on April 29th 2016. That's right 2016. You would think in todays modern society that NOW would of been killed off. You know, maybe by like NOW 15. Who in the blue hell still buys this shit? It's got to be doing good honestly. You don't make 58 if 57 sucked I would think right? I wonder when the last volume is going to be... How many volumes can they manufacture? I'm going to set a bar for them. Get to NOW 69. I will buy it because I'm a 12 year old in a 26 year olds body. Maybe we should set it for NOW 100. Get it to triple digits. The way this discography moves, NOW 69 will be out by this Halloween. Give it up for NOW That's What I Call Music!

Eli Fucking Apple

 

With the 10th pick in the NFL draft.... The New York Giants select.... a third corner back whose a questionable homosexual. Beni Hana? Beni Fucking Hana? No no no. Eli Apple? Eli fucking Apple?! WHY?! I know you shouldn't rip a draft pick until you see the guy play but I am LIVID over Jerry Reese's first round selection.

You fucking kidding me? The Giants just paid a guy 62.5 million dollars to play cornerback alongside Dominque Rodgers-Cromartie. If I knew the Giants were going to take a cornerback I would of loved to use that 62.5 milly on a different defensive player. I've got to throw a big 'Fuck You' to the Bears. Chicago jumped ahead of the Giants and selected Leonard Floyd right before the Giants. It also didn't help matters that Tennessee jumped up to the 8th spot to take Jack Conklin. The Giants were literally on the clock with the 10th selection of the draft. I hope Reese was all about Conklin and Floyd. Trading back just to buy time and revaluate things had to be an option after those two teams traded up and swiped away the offensive lineman and linebacker on the Giants radar. It couldn't be done. Reese had to make a pick with no backup plan. Jerry Reese turned to John Mara and said "pick a number 1 thru 5." Mara says 3. Reese replys "Eli Apple it is." Mara questionably says " Hey Jerry didn't you pay Janoris Jenkins 62.5 million dollars this off season? Our corners are sitting pretty nice with Jenkins and Rodgers-Cromartie." The General Manager responds "but you said 3 Mr. Mara. Apple is our guy! After all, think about all the puns this guys name can bring to the city!"

That's how I saw it at least. It's mind boggling to me that the Giants drafted a 3rd cornerback with the 10th overall pick. The Giants pretty much had the 8th pick because everybody knew 2 quarterbacks were going to be selected with the first two picks. To make things worse, look who our division rivals drafted. The Eagles dont even count. That franchise is so fucked. Bradford or a kid from fucking South Dakota St. It doesn't matter. Philly will finish last and maybe take another quarterback or trade for one next offseason. The Cowboys drafted fucking Ezekiel Elliot. We all know Dallas only finished the 4th worst team in the league because their quarterback was injured. The Cowboys are a good fucking team and they took an electrifying running back who is going to butt fuck the league behind the best offensive line in football. As for the defending NFC East champions..... Yeah, the 9-7 Washington Redskins. The Eli Apple pick may have forced Washington's hand in taking the best wide receiver in the draft. Josh Doctson is an absolute stud and now he willl be playing against my favorite team. An excellent pick by the Redskins that makes the Giants shitty pick even shittier.

The Giants have the worst linebackers in the league. Only Jaylon Smith can fix that. The linebacker out of Notre Dame can't even fix that this season due to a bad injury. Next year he can fix that. If Reese has the fucking balls to take a guy that's not going to play this year which he won't do because it's playoffs or pinkslip for him. After taking a corner instead of adressing the teams bigger weaknesses, we can kiss any shot at Jaylon Smith goodbye. The Giants can't afford to take a second round pick on an injured linebacker despite how valuable he'll be for the franchise in the future. Big Blue also only has one proven wide receiver who could possibly be in a whirl of trouble if Victor Cruz doesn't produce. Oh yeah, can't forget about the right side of the offensive line. I guess that's not important.

I really may be alone about Shaq Lawson. I think this guy is going to be a great player. Lawson fell all the way to the Bills at 19. Great pick Buffalo. The Bills couldn't replace Mario Williams any better. The G-Men are going to need a defensive end next year. There is about a 10% chance Jason Pierre-Paul returns to the team next year. In 2017 the Giants will once again have to look for a defensive end. Just like that. Maybe that will be next years first round pick. Or maybe a 4th corner back. Who the fuck knows. I wouldn't of minded Laremy Tunsil but I expected and respected the Giants passing on him. I don't give a fuck that he smokes weed. The G-Men do their best to avoid that kind of controversy and I'll always have their back with that. However, I'm a fucking gambler and I don't think weed is a big deal and I'd rather have that big motherfucker protecting Eli Manning than having a 3rd cornerback that's not going to be on the field every play. FUCK!

If there is one positive to look at this season, it's that if the Giants miss the playoffs for yet another consecutive year, you can bank on Jerry Reese's termination. I've had enough of Jerry. He over-paid 3 unproven players this offseason. Granted, the moves despertely needed to be made, the players thankfully have upside, and frankly he had no fucking choice. Outside of Odell Beckham Jr. he has drafted very poorly. Eli Apple is being labled as the best player available at the 10th pick of the draft. Maybe he is. I hope he is. It just makes no sense that the Giants payed a cornerback handsomely in free agency to join a pro bowl corner (DRC was a sub and doesn't really deserve that respect. Regardless, he is a solid cornerback). Much bigger holes needed to be addressed.

 

That's a tweet made by the Giants first round pick before Super Bowl 46. I guess me and the Giants new Eli have something in common... We both don't like Eli Apple on the New York Giants. None the less he is an Eagles fan. This is just another reason not to like Eli Apple. Stupid and irrelevant news, but news Giants fans don't like.

The Only Rationalization: The Giants are confident in there defensive line and now want to stack up on coverage. I think a simple dump to a runningback guarantees positive yards considering the linebacking core is full of Grade D worthy players. Atleast the Giants will match up well with receivers.

Alright Mr. Red Delicious. Make me eat my fucking words. There is nothing in the world I want more than for Eli Apple to be great. I stand behind everything I said and I hope one day this blog is shoved in my face for being wrong about this pick. Nothing will make me happier than that. The 2nd and 3rd round of the NFL draft kicks off tonight and I'm hoping the Giants can shape up their holes. Let's see what you got Jerry.

I cant publish this without that corny ass pun that's probaly headlining every backpage paper..... Welcome to the Big Apple Eli Apple!!

Big Pick for Big Blue at Tonight's NFL Draft

 

 

The first round of the NFL Draft is tonight and the New York Giants have the 10th overall pick. This is a huge pick for a team that has been struggling since winning Super Bowl 46. They haven't been in the playoffs since Eli Manning won his second Super Bowl MVP. Tom Coughlin "resigned" as the head coach and Ben McAdoo has taken over the helm. GM Jerry Reese is on the hot seat. A majority of Giants fans believed Reese would of got a pink slip and leave with Coughlin but he's getting another chance. Reese wasted no time to save his ass and the teams defense by signing Janoris Jenkins, Damon Harrison, and Olivier Vernon to big time contracts and bringing back Jason Pierre-Paul in a season where he must prove to the league that he can still play after an unfortunate smelting accident. I mean... firework accident that blew his fingers off his hand.

The Giants spent money this offseason on free agency like they've never done before. Now it's time for Reese to make a big draft pick that is going to contribute immediately and for a long time. The Giants usually don't play into free agency because they drafted well. The money they have is usually resigning their players instead of finding new ones. After seeing one of the worst defenses in New York Giants history, that could not be done. Reese hasn't drafted the best with the exception to Odell Beckham Jr. The Giants selected an offensive lineman in 2 of the last 3 years and the offensive line still needs help. The Giants haven't drafted a defensive player in the first round since 2011. The Giants drafted a runningback in the first round in 2012 and he no longer plays football. The New York Giants cannot fuck up this 10th pick tonight.

After adding names to the defense, the Giants defense is still in need of work. The Giants linebackers are horrendous. The G-Men haven't drafted a linebacker in the first round since they took Carl Banks in 1984. The right side of the offensive line needs to be addressed. What's the deal with Victor Cruz? He took a pay cut for the team, and nobody knows what kind of player he is going to be after missing the teams last 20 regular season games. The Giants cannot fix all these problems in one season, but with their off season moves and this draft in a weak NFC East, the Giants can get back into the playoffs. You can't count them out when you got a guy named Eli Manning.

Here's a look at potential players that can be putting on Giants blue tonight.


DE Shaq Lawson

The defensive end out of Clemson is falling right around the 10th pick in many mock drafts. Remember when the Giants drafted Jason Pierre-Paul in 2010? It started a frenzy because they already had Justin Tuck and Osi Umenyiora. Fans were panicking. It turned into a successful pick as JPP was a huge part of the Giants 4th championship. Why? Because there is never enough pass rushers. Tuck, Umenyioura, and JPP on the same line was a dominant pass rush that couldn't be stopped. This year the Giants opened their wallet to try to get their prestige pass rush back. Adding Olivier Vernon and Damon Harrison to the front 4 and returning the fire work troubled Pierre-Paul giving Big Blue a solid and respected defensive line. The Giants can do that with the 10th pick. Putting 5 defensive lineman upfront and keeping everyone else back in coverage was the Giants Super Bowl run formula in Super Bowl 42 and 46. They can have the oppurtunity to send out 5 monsters at the quarterback every 3rd and long and will have the upperhand.

It says a lot about a defense that still needs more help after all the defensive players the G-Men signed this offseason. Shaq Lawson would be a great fit with the New York Giants. With all the money that was spent, I can't imagine Jason Pierre-Paul returning to the team next season no matter how well he produces. The Giants have a star at wide receiver who is going to want and get a big time contract. This pick will only benefit the G-Men but they do have much bigger holes to fill. It is said that this is a deep defensive talented draft. The Giants may not want a third defensive end with their 10th pick. I think Lawson would fit tremendously with this team but Jerry Reese may be looking to fill a bigger hole. In a division that was won with a 9-7 record last season, everybody is in Win-Now mode. Defensive end is the most valued position after quarterback in Giants land. Shaq Lawson can be a huge part of the Giants this season as the 3rd DE and as the every down DE for years to come. The 3 defensive end thing won the Giants two Super Bowls. Why not give it another shot?

 OLB Leonard Floyd

The Giants never seem to care for linebackers. Maybe they'll change that mindset this year. Maybe they'll realize they put mailmen out at linebacker and none of their overalls crack 70 in Madden. Leonard Floyd was the Bulldogs defensive MVP. Floyd is very fast off the edge. Having a pass rusher that doesn't always come off the line might be exactly what the Giants defense needs. He's young, he's athletic, and he can pressure the quarterback. It makes more sense for the Giants to take Leonard Floyd than Shaq Lawson. He does the same role at a different position and is obviously more athletic than Lawson. Floyd would be a great pick for the Giants at #10.

No matter who the Giants draft in the first round, I'd draft Jaylon Smith with their second round pick. Granted, Smith is more than likely missing the 2016 season but he is the top linebacker in the nation. I can be patient for an elite linebacker. No matter what happens this season, saying "we'll have Jaylon Smith next season" will greatly ease me up. It would really surprise me if the Giants went linebacker 1 and 2 but I would be pretty damn excited for that. The long occuring linebacker situation will finally be solved. Floyd and Smith at linebacker next season would be amazing. First things first though, take the guy that can play this year.

 WR LaQuon Treadwell

The New York Giants seem to love SEC wide receivers. I feel like Treadwell was an extremely popular pick for the Giants in many people's mock drafts about a week ago. Now every mock draft I look at have him falling to the Vikings at #23. Wide Reciever can be a huge issue for the Giants. It all comes down to the production of Victor Cruz. If Cruz gets hurt again this season, Beckham Jr. is going to be tripled covered. The #2 Wide Receiver would be Dwayne Harris. That would be an alarming issue. So wide receiver is a position the Giants need to address. That doesn't necessarily mean that that it needs to be addressed in the first round though. The Giants should look for wide receiver and if they are set on it, perhaps they can trade back and get more picks and snag Treadwell or even Josh Doctson. (I loved Doctson at TCU and in my opinion find him to be better)

Treadwell still seems to fit in everywhere as everyones top receiver in the draft. If the Giants were to go for the 6'2 wideout, it would make Cruz a slot receiver again where we all know he had great success at. The Giants are gambling with Cruz unless they take a wide receiver in this draft. The best case scenario would be Cruz and the rookie playing well. Now you have a 3 headed monster and can really let Odell loose to torment secondaries. It keeps Eli's weapons safe if Cruz can't go or doesn't have it anymore by keeping Dwayne Harris away from the #2 WR and giving the Giants another weapon besides Beckham. It seems #10 is too early for the Giants to take a receiver in this draft but if they can trade back and snag Treadwell or Doctson, the G-Men will have a solid receiving core.

 DE Joey Bosa

This is my homerun pick. Every mock draft I've been seeing has this guy falling lower and lower. If Joey Bosa is there, the Giants must pick him. This guys was the bonified #1 pick during the college football season. Bosa is going to be an immediate impact player. I don't understand why he keeps falling in mock drafts. He's went from #1 to #2 to #4 to #8. Maybe he'll slip to 10. Joey Bosa has no business falling to #10. Who knows, maybe another team will trade up in the top 10 to grab a fucking quarterback. Obviously I'm very optimistic and doubt Bosa falls to 10 but if he does and the Giants don't take him I'm going to end up in jail tonight.

 OT Jack Conklin

Are the Giants really going to take an offensive lineman in the first round in 3 out of the last 4 years? They just may have to. 6'6 308 pounds, Jack Conklin from Michigan State would probably be better than everybody on the Giants offensive line already. The Giants have nobody on their right side of the line and putting a guy like Conklin there really shapes up the line nicely. The Giants were a one dimensional team last year. The running game was awful. If the Giants can solidify the run like the franchise has always liked doing, it will make Eli's job much easier. Defenses knew everytime Manning was throwing and that made it hard on the offensive line to stop the pass rush and protect their quarterback. Flowers and Pugh can hold down the left side. They now have experience under their belts. Plugging Conklin on the right side will give the Giants a solid and young offensive line which is something they haven't had in a while.

 LB Myles Jack

Here's a guy that has been falling that I understand why and he even understands. Jack admitted he could eventually need microfacture surgery on his knee. The UCLA linebacker suffered a knee injury that ended his season last year. Jack is not your typical linebacker. He was used in UCLA on both sides of the ball. That probably explains your knee injury Myles. Outside of his speed at the linebacker position, Jack doesn't do it for me. From the UCLA games that i've watched and bet on, their defense always stuck out to me as being awful. Jack was a top draft pick throughout the offseason and now is being dropped right around that 10th pick. I hope the Giants pass on Jack. He is one of the few people that if drafted I will be upset with. I don't want any piece of Myles Jack. He's not a true linebacker and he's got knee problems and the Giants need to make a safer pick.

 RB Ezekiel Elliot

Here he is. The flashiest pick of the draft. Nobody doubts the talent of Elliot. He has everything you want in a runningback. The thing is.. he's a runningback. I am totally against the Giants drafting Elliot but I'd obviously welcome him aboard. Runningbacks do not hold the same value they once did. 80% of the league uses 2 runningbacks. It's an absolute waste taking a runningback in the first round of the NFL draft. This early at least. With Jerry Reese on the hot seat I can totally see him taking Elliot here. The Giants need an offensive line. Taking Elliot at 10 is like taking a Cadillac without it's wheels. I hope a team not named Dallas takes Zeke before the Giants even have a chance of drafting him.



It's a big night tonight. The NFL Draft is a very exciting event. Although who my team picks isn't guaranteed, the guarantee of Commissioner Roger Goodell's sweaty ass getting boo'd in his opening speech is always amazing. It was a good offseason for the Giants. Now let's have a good draft. Make me proud Blue.

Movies Today are Nothing but Remakes and Sequels

 

Every coming attraction I see in todays cinema world tends to either be a remake or a sequel. Where has the creativity gone? As unoriginal as Hollywoods films have been, there's one simple reason all we see in theaters today is either remakes or sequels. Why come up with a new idea for a film when you can simply make millions of dollars off of somebody else's?

Any classic movie that did well will make a return to the big screen as either a remake with new actors or as a sequel. It doesn't matter who is in it, or what it's about, or if we know the result of everything already, people are still going to see it and filmmakers are going to bank. As much as I'd like to see something new instead of a sequel, reboot, or spinoff, too many people flock to the theaters to see these kind of movies. People want more of what they liked and want their favorite movies of the past brought back to life.

Here's a mindset of typical filmmakers ready to make a financial gain off somebody else's idea instead of making up something on their own. Patrick Swayze died. How can I profit off of his death? What was his best movie? Oh yes. Point Break was pretty awesome. Let's remake it and make millions and millions of dollars! The same is being done to the late great Robin Williams. My intention of making this blog pretty much came from the announcement of Kevin Hart and The Rock signing on to do the remake of Jumanji. I don't have a problem with either Hart or Rock but this remake is completely unnecessary. But are people going to see it? We know the answer to that question. The audience has an understanding and following to these movies already and are going to go see it even if they don't like the idea of the remake. Just please god, do not reboot Mrs. Doubtfire.

Let's take a look at the overwhelming abundance of reboots and sequels that have launched or are launching into theaters in the recent years.


Jurasic Park - Change park to world and have a T-Rex in the movie. Ahh easy cheddar.

Ghostbusters - If we keep the catchiest jingle in the history of cinema maybe nobody will care that the iconic Ghostbusters team is now all women.

The Fast and the Furious 214 - Ok there's not 214 Fast and Furious movies. 8 is a pretty big fucking number though. Just add a new star or bring one back each movie and have more unrealistic stunts and the franchise will never stop grossing a tremendous amount of loot. The fact that Paul Walker died and they're still continuing the franchise proves exactly how it's always all about the money.

Star Wars - The prequels were extremely disappointing and unnecessary. Now 3 decades after Star Wars dropped their first 3 dazzling series of movies (episodes 4,5,6), Disney is making episodes 7,8, and 9 despite everybody being 30 years older. There will also be Star Wars story anthology movies like of a young Han Solo before we knew him in "A New Hope". It's simple, Star Wars banks.

Godzilla - How many more times are we going to see a giant lizard destroy cities?

National Lampoon's Vacation: A classic comedy that will probably now be reprised until Rusty Griswald is a great grandfather.

Every Single Super Hero Movie - The easiest form of a severe amount of income. Super Hero's are never ever going to go away. So many Bruce Waynes, so many Peter Parkers, so many Tony Starks, so many super hero movies.

Harry Potter - There's nothing I hate more than Harry Potter. Why are there 8 movies about a geek flying on a broom.

Halloween / Nightmare on Elm Street / Friday the 13th - Michael Meyers, Freddy Kruger, and Jason Vorhees are the 3 most famous horror killers of all time. They all have at least 6 sequels so I'd expect 6 more remakes.

Barber Shop -Did anybody even see the second one? A trilogy of people cutting hair is absolutely unbelievable.

Pirates of the Caribbean - Jack Sparrow is back because he was a hoot in the early 2000s. Even Johnny Depp can't get a new character in a new film.

Die Hard - Anybody interested in seeing a Die Hard movie without Bruce Willis? Apparently Die Hard 6 is in the works and will focus on John McClane pre Nakatomi Plaza. Die Hard 5 was embarrassing. Maybe that was a good time to stop the Die Hard movies.

Terminator - Arnold Shwarzenegger did one too many Terminator movies. If Arnold were to die in the next 5 years I'd fully expect Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to be in the next Terminator sequel or remake.

Ride Along 2 - A sequel already? Something tells me Ice Cube and Kevin Hart are going to be in at least 2 more Ride Along's. Then we'll get our remake with 2 new actors.

Zoolander 2 - I loved the first Zoolander but this sequel idea just seemed to be a bit of a disastrous idea.

23 Jump Street and Men in Black - 21 Jump Street was a successful remake of Johnny Depp's original. So successful that they made a second one and now will be making a third. Men in Black over-did their stay with a 3rd movie that was mainly Will Smith without Tommy Lee Jones who he worked great with in the first two. There's actually a talk about a Jump Street vs MIB movie and I guess after Batman V Superman, this is what Hollywood is becoming...

Sylvester Stallone - I'm just going to put the actor himself here. Has Stallone ever been anybody besides Rocky Balboa, Rambo, or Barney Ross? Creed 2 and The Expendables 4 are in the works.

2015 Summer Box Office

That's just some. Believe me when I say just some. There are sooooooo many sequels expected to hit theaters in the next 4 years. Here are a look at some that caught my eye for the good and bad:

• Avatar 2
• Avatar 3
• Avatar 4
• Avatar 5
• Bad Boys 3
• Clerks III
• Resident Evil
• How to Train Your Dragon 3
• Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2
• Beetlejuice 2
• Indiana Jones 5
• Super Troopers 2
• Bad Santa 2
• Sherlock Holmes 3
• Austin Powers 4
• Rush Hour 4

This is what Hollywood has become. Everything has been done. Hollywood is so empty minded that we are seeing reboots and sequels at an all time high. Though I am excited for a few of these movies, it is just an immense amount of them being filmed and released at a rapid pace. Who do I got to talk to about some movie ideas?

Harriet Tubman Replacing Andrew Jackson on the Front of the $20 Bill

 

How has it taken this long to realize that our currency shouldn't have respectable presidents on every single bill? Where's the equality! President Andrew Jackson has been featured on the front side of the $20 bill since 1928. Since forever that currency's been created, United States presidents were featured on every dollar bill. Today in 2016, a long historic tradition is over as our politically correct world will now no longer have a president on one of our dollar bills.

Harriet Tubman will be the new face of the $20 bill. In 2020 the 7th president of the United States will take a backseat on the back of the $20 bill as we will see the African-American Union Spy's big fat non president face smack in the middle of the front of the $20 bill. Tubman would be the first woman honored on paper currency in relevant history. What's next? Ann Frank on fucking Mount Rushmore?

Oh Harriet isn't coming alone folks. The Treasury Secretary also announced that women will be added to the $5 and $10 bills too. Thankfully, Abe Lincoln and Alexander Hamilton will be keeping their respected faces on the front of the bills. On the back of the $5 and $10 bills will have some kind of representation of the 1913 Women's right to vote march along with portraits of suffrage leaders. How these presidents were even considered to be removed from the face of the $5 and $10 bills blows my mind. It must be because Lincoln freed the slaves and there's a pretty hot ticket for a hip-hop oriented Hamilton Broadway show.

Obviously the news of Harriet Tubman making it on to U.S. currency created a lot of waves across the country. It's something we never thought would happen. These bills may have changed by becoming more modern and colorful, but we never seen a new face on any of the bills. Every paper currency since you were born has had a president on it. That 'you' goes to everybody because that's how long it's been that way. The only people who may not have had presidents on their currency are currently skeletons. It took until now to decide on such a sudden and historical change.

If there was one president who was going to be removed from the dollar bills, it was obviously going to be Andy Jacks. Jackson's place in history has suffered with the attention to his record of him relocating Native Americans and supporting slavery. Mind you his term was from 1829-1837. The world is an extremely different place in 2016 then it was in fucking 1830. So hold back your lugies at his grave. No need for the delicate and tactful people to spit on and shame president Jackson, the U.S. Treasury did that for you.

The "People's President" who founded the Democratic party and supported individual liberty and fought in the Revolutionary War at the age of 13 got kicked off the front of the $20 bill for someone who ran from slavery. I get it, believe me, I'm sympathetic to slavery. It was a totally different world back then. Tubman is a heroic figure, I 100% agree. She stood up for women's suffrage and was the "conductor" of the Underground Railroad. She's still not a president.

Interesting enough, Ben Carson spoke today about the $20 bill situation. Carson thinks Tubman should be on the $2 bill instead. Mr. Carson said, "I think Andrew Jackson was a tremendous president. Andrew Jackson was the last president who actually balanced the federal budget where we had no national debt. So in honor of that, we kick him off the money?" A great point by the former Republican candidate.

I think this move is indeed all about race. I think todays world is extremely sensitive. Everything has to be equal. It's a true honor to be a face of U.S. currency. It's truly disrespectful that a president is going to be replaced on the a dollar bill. It's not disrespectful because of who the replacement is. It's disrespectful because there shouldn't be a replacement. This is the world we live in and unfortunately nothing is going to change it. Regardless, it's out of my hands, and that is one ugly fucking mug we are going to be looking at on the $20 bill. Haters gonna hate.

Money-Hungry NBA Approves Advertising on their Uniforms

 

Rest in piece to ever wearing a new NBA jersey for at least the next 3 seasons. The multi-billion basketball association approved a three year pilot program to allow teams to sell a corporate logo on their jerseys. This is completely about the money. Although the league is going to bank off this, as a huge jersey fan, I am pretty pissed off that I'm never going to see a regular basketball jersey again.

I'm honestly really bothered by this. I refuse to by an NBA jersey with a fucking advertisement on it. I don't care how small the logo is. I'm not buying a Knicks jersey with a fucking Chase Bank logo on it and it would kill me to see the Knicks support their fat dogshit owner James Dolan's Optimum with a patch on their shoulder for 82 games. The jerseys are no longer worn with pride. The teams and players are now a brand. There's a reason why fans hate the free giveaways at the games and that's because of the stupid sponsor logos on them. What sucks the most about this is how much money the league is going to rake in on this. This is going to be a revolution. Every sport besides maybe baseball are going to end up doing this after seeing how simple it is to make bank off sponsors. Roger Goodell is going to enforce this to the NFL 100%. Guaranteed. Mark my words. That money-hungry alcoholic. Fuck this shit.

The NBA has become fucking Nascar. The NBA doesn't stop producing new forms of jerseys like the stupid fucking sleeves and special Christmas jerseys. They know how easy it is to make millions of dollars. This sponsorship is going to bring in a shit load of revenue and there's no way they part ways with it after the three year deal. I hope the NBA doesn't make any money off of jersey sales from fans not buying these sponsored jerseys even though it probably won't matter because of how much money they'll make off the sponsors paying the teams to get their brand patch on the uniform. I only wear the most authentic jerseys I can possibly get my hands on but you'll catch me dead before I ever wear a jersey with a fucking marketing ad on it. My NBA jersey collection will no longer expand. Maybe a Kevin Durant Knicks jersey might change my mind....

Phil Jackson gets Cocky with the Media

 

The New York Knicks President of basketball operations had some snide ass remarks to the media at his press conference of his season ending interview. I find it rather peculiar that Phil is so laid back like it's cool that the Knicks missed another post season under the "superstar" Carmelo Anthony era. In an interview filled with Knicks fans speculating what the future of the team holds, Phil Jackson addressed every question like a cocky asshole and didn't answer a single fucking question.

"So it's been about two months since I've seen you guys." Phil Jackson sneeringly and unenthusiastically told the media. "We're disappointed about our season. That'l eliminate a couple of questions you probably have to ask me." Could anyone not want to be at a press conference anymore than the legendary "Zen Master." Phil then boringly stated, "We didn't have a group that really bonded together. I thought they came apart during the end of the season. We have to make changes. There's no doubt about that."

...... I cannot be any more infuriated by Phil's press conference. There's plenty more to it, but I'm just going to touch up on a few quotes and express my frustration. I have never seen a more conceited interview than the one Phil Jackson conducted yesterday. Yo Phil, it's not fucking cool that you were a winner in the 90's and mid 2000's. Let me tell you something.... You are in charge of the New York motherfucking Knicks! The Knicks! Put yourself in a Knicks fans shoes. We are fucking desperate! Stop playing everything so fucking cool because you have a successful basketball background when the Knicks are in absolute dire need of anything to be happy about. Phil you coached Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, Shaquille O'Neal, and Kobe Bryant. You ain't the guru of shit bitch your just Phil fucking Jackson blessed with talent.

This is living fucking proof that the Knicks are fucked. Phil's made the media seem like he should never be questioned despite winning 49 games in the two years he's been Knicks president. Who is going to coach the Knicks next year Phil? Jackson with very little patience responded arrogantly, " A lot of your speculations that people have thrown out have very little bearing on what we're doing. "So if you want to save either paper space or speculation, limit your speculations. It'll help out a lot." Hmm how dare the media ask about the Knicks coaching situation. That's not a big deal. Phil Jackson won NBA titles so he doesn't need to address that to anybody.

Things got better when his cherished triangle offense was questioned. When asked if the team is still implementing the triangle offense, a very grumpy and irritated Phil Jackson replied by saying, " That's what I was brought here to do, build a system. That's all part of the package of what we're doing." Personally, I didn't even know the triangle offense existed. I guess Carmelo passing a little more means the Knicks run the triangle. A reporter accurately criticized Phil's beloved system and Phil responded with the brashest, cocky, self-confident, and wise ass remark saying, "Who are these people? Why would people even say that? Do they have 11 championships to show you and then they talk about that?"

What a fucking arrogant asshole. The fact that you have those 11 championships is exactly why your being asked these questions you big ego piece of shit. Your self proclaimed "superstar" can not make the playoffs. This team needs help. Phil Jackson has never had to answer questions of this kind of failure in his career and he reacts like nobody should question him despite two nightmare seasons. Oh cool, you were right about Porzingis. You gave us a glim of hope. Clearly it's not enough. Unless Phil Jackson wheels in a major free agent like Kevin Durant this team is neverrrrrrr.... everrrrrrrr. eeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhverrrrrrr (Chris Jericho voice) going to win a championship aGain. Just understand Knick fans, Phil had previous success so everything is all good.

Knicks fans wanted to know what Phil Jackson plans to do with the team for next year. Aaron Afflalo and Derrick Williams have contract options. We will not know the Knicks cap space until they decide on whether or not they are coming back or not. There is no 1st round pick of course. The #2 seed Toronto Raptors will be enjoying that. Phil Jackson was a cocky fuck during his interview with the media and didn't answer any reasonable question to give us any hope for next season or future for the matter. The New York Knickerbockers are the worst franchise and nothing can change that. We. Are. Doomed.

STAR WARS: Rogue One Trailer Dropped

 

Rogue One - Star Wars Fans "filler" as we eagerly await the 2017 release of episode 8 in the Space Opera film, dropped their first trailer yesterday. I became a reborn Star Wars fan after the episode 7 "New Hope" remix kicked the box office's ass last December and have been anticipating Rogue One's trailer for a while with one question looming.... Will the film feature the legendary DARTH VADER???!!!

I'll return to Lord Vader shortly. First let me give you a brief review of the trailer. Rogue One is about the Rebels stealing the plans for the Death Star. In the very first original Star Wars, which can be addressed as episode 4 (despite being 22 years technologically outdated from the prequels episodes 1-3) will show that Princess Leia obtained the Death Stars plans and handed it off to the ever-so-loving droid R2D2. So the movie takes place in-between episode 3 and 4. In this film, we will see how the Rebel fighters retrieve the plans that eventually end up in Leai's hands to destroy the Death Star. Yes, I know.... We all know the outcome of the movie and we all don't give a fuck. We're still lining up for the midnight showing.

 

Actress Felicity Jones is the main character in this film. She appears to have quite the track record of a criminal background against the Galactic Empire that the Rebellion seems to be pissed about yet find her as the perfect culprit to lead a mission to obtain the Death Star plans. Basically she's like Leonardo DiCaprio as Billy Costigan in The Departed. The Death Star is the most lethal force of destruction in the galaxy. It fucking blows planets up! The Rebellion does not want the Dark Side with that power so it is imperative that they figure out how to destroy the Death Star.

Jone's character "Erso" accepts the mission and then we get taken into the teams preparation and a full out brawl with Storm Troopers with Forest Whitaker preaching like an African-American pastor. Ohhh Happyyyy Dayyyyys! So while Forest is dramatically over-the-top preaching, we get 2 second cuts of the film with an annoying alarm noise that sounds like Elmo is getting stabbed. There was one cut that caught my eye......

IS THAT DARTH FUCKING VADER?!

 

 

For the love of fucking god! I NEED to know if Darth Vader is in this god damn film. He's obviously present during this film. We've all heard his weak and demoralizing weep of NOOOOOO in Revenge of the Sith and we cannot have that be our last recollection of the most iconic villain in the history of cinema. I watched this trailer waiting to hear the infamous Vader breathing. This looks like it could be him but the head looks more like a hood than a helmet which leaves me in doubt. James Earl Jones is not on IMDB. I'm assuming there's no Vader if there's no Earl Jones but they may not have his name up because they want to make this a surprise. This trailer left a Vader appearance unanswered and it rips me up inside. Even if he has a 2 second cameo in this movie, any role Darth Vader has would make this movie epic. I don't like the idea of waiting for the next trailer for a potential Vader revealing.

At first I was against these "Star Wars Story" spinoffs. I figured they were just an extremely simple source of millions of dollars. Even though the trailer didn't even excite me that much, I'm pumped for Rogue One. I'm glad there's some kind of Star Wars before the big Episode 8 film drops in 2017. My Darth Vader obsession is still undetermined but I'm excited to see how this prequel plays out.


Yea that can't be our last memory of my boy. What the fuck were they thinking putting that in the film? How do you bring back the series most famous character for the first time since 1983 and have him cry such a laughable NOOOOO
#MakeVaderGreatAgain

Donald Trump Hosting a Campaign Rally in my Fucking Backyard

 

Republican favorite Donald Trump is planning his first Long Island campaign rally and of all the places on Long Island he is having it in BETHPAGE! Fuck yea! Sign me up! I'm dumb hyped for this. The rally will be held Wednesday April 6th at 6 p.m at Grummans Studios.

Let's fucking go. I can't believe Trump is going to be in Bethpage of all places. The New York primary is Tuesday April 19th and the Donald is preparing to make this state switch from blue to red. Trump is going to win the Republican election from New York but we need him to take that lying bitch Hillary down. If he makes one comment or remark that bashes Hillary the roof is going to blow off that building and land on the 18th hole of the Bethpage Black golf course.

I'm a bit nervous that I'll embarrass the billionaire presidential candidate with how much I intend on tailgating and drinking for such a non tailgating and drinking event. I don't want Donny T looking bad for something out of his control like the dumbasses in St. Louis. However, I'd be a bad alcoholic by not drinking for this event. I'll have to be a good boy but I need that extra juice.

For all my fellow Long Island Trump supporters: you will need tickets to attend the rally. The tickets will be free of cost and you should be able to register for them here Tuesday April 5th. Who knows if an event of this magnitude ever happens right here in Bethpage ever again. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain

I hope there is a strong showing at this rally in favor of Trump. If anyone goes there protesting I hope you swim in a pool of shit water filled with Aids needles. Nothing you protesters do will stop Trump from running for president and being the Republican presidential nominee so fuck off. The Donald is coming to Bethpage and his rally is something that cannot be missed.

Top 5 Friday: Greatest WrestleMania Matches

 

This Sunday WWE is presenting their biggest show of the year. WrestleeeeeManiaaaaaaaaa (Vince McMahon voice). In honor of this sundays big event Top 5 Friday will be dedicated to the 5 greatest matches in WrestleMania history. If you aint down with my top 5 I GOT 2 WORDS FOR YA!

By the way.... How the fuck does a billionaire like Vincent Kennedy McMahon not get the WWF name over fucking World Wildlife Fund? Alright, on with the Top 5.


 #5 WrestleMania 22: Edge vs Mick Foley

"Ohhhhhh myyyyyyy goddddddd!" Joey Styles screamed it best. Holy shit was this match entertaining. Mick Foley is a hardcore legend and age doesn't stop this guy from taking the biggest bumps in wrestling. If Foley is in a hardcore match, it is must see. You don't need to have any wrestling interest to be entertained by these two mens performances. The famous thumbtacks and barbed wire bat made an appearance in this battle with Edge taking the worst of it. This match was awesome from start to finish. The finish though.... Oh my god what a fucking finish to this match. People will never forget the ending to this match. With Foley on the apron, Lita sets a table behind Foley on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes as they both crash onto the burning table. Holy Shit!

Random: How the hell did Mick Foleys sperm create such a goddess of a daughter?

#4 WrestleMania 21: Kurt Angle vs Shawn Michaels

It was about 30 minutes of two unbelievably gifted superstars leaving everything they had out there in the ring. There wasn't a title on the line. It was all about pride from 2 of the best in the business. Kurt Angle and Shawn Michaels usually carry their opponents into making their match special so when you put them in the ring against one another you have yourself one of the greatest matches of all time. You never wanted this match to end. It was a very technical match that had some high risks. Each competitor landed their signature moves but it wasn't putting their opponent away. This match saw a lot of kick-outs and quick reversals. The Heart Break Kid hit Angle with a Sweet Chin Music and Angle kicked out in one of the best near falls you will ever see. By the way Shawn Michaels superkick hurts people ten times more than anybody elses superkick. The match finished with Kurt Angle relentlessly not letting go of the ankle lock eventually forcing HBK to tap.

 #3 WrestleMania 17: TLC Edge and Christian vs The Hardy Boyz vs The Dudley Boyz

Non. Stop. Action. No way am I talking about fucking TNA. So many big spots. Such a masterful match. All 6 wrestlers put their bodies on the line in a match that featured Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. These are the 3 greatest tag teams of all time. I don't care what anybody says. If you want to argue the Hardy Boyz arn't, I can accept that because Matt Hardy is fucking gay. No he doesn't like men. He just doesn't have an ounce of talent that his brother has. The chemistry between these 3 teams led to one of the greatest matches in not just WrestleMania history, but in wrestling history. There were so many big spots in this match. They just happenedd over and over and over again. Even Lita took a huge ass bump in this match. She almost fucked up her neck big time. Bubba Ray Dudley and Matt Hardy fell through like 100 tables stacked together. Sorry, minus that by 94. But nothing. AND THE SHARK MEANS NOTHING! will ever top Edge spearing a dangling Jeff Hardy 15 feet in the air off the ladder. That shit was fucking awesome. What a match!


#2 WrestleMania 25: Shawn Michaels vs The Undertaker

"As a wrestling fan how can you ask for anything more?" BAH GAWD! Well said JR. These two icons delivered such a compelling match. Two of the biggest WW(F)E superstars of all time delivered one of the most unbelievable and memorable matches ever. It was tough not to put this match #1 because I ended up getting so invested in it because I really thought The Showstopper was going to end the Undertakers WrestleMania streak. No superstar obsessed over ending Takers streak more than Michaels and he put the Undertaker to the test in this match. They hit each other with their signature moves so much and had so many near falls you just kept saying "ok now its over, he won." but they kept kicking out! Undertakers reactions to not being able to put HBK away said everything you needed to know about the heart these 2 put into this match. The crowd was insane in this match. Probably the best crowd in a WrestleMania match after The Rock and Hollywood Hogan. This match was 30 minutes of non stop potential endings that wouldn't end. At last the match came to it's conclusion as HBK went for a moonsault and was caught by Undertaker and he delivered the tombstone piledriver and got the 3 count. Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker proved to the world why they are legends. They outperformed everybody and they were in their 40's. What an unbelievable match.


 #1 WrestleMania 13: Bret "The Hitman" Hart vs Stone Cold Steve Austin

 "If you put S in front of Hitman you have my exact opinion of Bret Hart." God you got to love the Texas Rattlesnake. Just not as much as good ol' JR. He literally climaxes everywhere over Stone Cold. At first your confused as to why this was a submission match when Bret Hart's finishing move is a submission move and Stone Cold isn't a submission wrestler. Austin just stomps mud holes and flips people off. Little did we know that we were going to be witnesses to the greatest and most important matches in WW(F)E history. This set the stage for Austin to take over and change the face of wrestling.

This was such a gritty fucking match. Austin was suppose to be the heel in this match and Bret Hart was suppose to be the good guy and those roles flipped in this match. Chair shots left and right. Hart even hit Austin with the ring bell. The Hitman left Austin a bloody mess but Austin showed some grit and spirit that was winning the fans over. One of the most famous images of all time is Stone Colds face covered in blood locked in Bret Hart's Sharp Shooter submission. Austin was done for but refused to tap leaving him to just pass out and give Hart the victory. After the match Bret Hart attacked Austin until Ken Shamrock broke it up. For some reason he was the special guest referee. That dude needs to stop fighting he's like 50 and getting in the ring with Kimbo Slice. Crazy fuck. Bret Hart would exit the ring to a crowd full of boos but it was Austin who was out cold getting all the love from the crowd. Austin lost the match but won over everybody as the crowd chanted "Austin Austin Austin." This match set the stage for the "Attitude Era" where Stone Cold Steve Austin became a monumental face of wrestling and as the saying goes.... "the rest is history."

　

I hope everyone enjoyed my Top 5 Greatest WrestleMania matches and I hope those who are watching WrestleMania 32 this Sunday enjoy the show. I was very down on this years Mania due to all the injuries but damn I really think this is going to be one of the better WrestleMania's we've seen in a while. At least John Cena can't ruin it by winning the main event but unfortunately that untalented, 5 moved, HORRIFIC speaker Roman Reigns is going to become WWE champ. Thank god I will have my friends drunk father to entertain me all night so I'll have a good show no matter what. Love you Shereef! That was my Top 5 WrestleMania matches and that's the bottom line because Sharks Territory said so!

Honorable Mentions

Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels (Iron Man Match)
Any Rock vs Austin
The Rock vs Hollywood Hogan
Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior
Bret Hart vs Vince McMahon
Michael Cole vs Jerry "The King" Lawler
(TOTALLY KIDDING ABOUT THE LAST 2!)
Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar