The 2016 Oscars Awards was headlined by two things. No black nominations and whether or not Leonardo DiCaprio will finally win Best Actor. The Accademy Awards became a dragging 4 hours of celebrities preaching what's wrong in the world.
After Chris Rock's monologue I turned off the Oscars for about 2 hours because I dont give a shit about animated Short films or Best Foreign-Language Films. Even the 2 hours I watched were too long in my eyes. I thought Lady Gaga gave an excellent performance. Even that covered world issues but I enjoyed the performance. I don't know why musical performances are done at a movie award show but she was good. I guess they just love anything that can drag the show out and give us more commercials inbetween each award. Louis CK was hilarious presenting a dog shit award. Anything that took us away from the diversity was appreciated. All in all, the Oscars are the most prominent award show and there was bigger deals than all the little bullshit our country cares about these days. They actually gave out awards for movies.
Here are some quick hits of my perspective of shit that mattered besides Black Lives at last nights 88th Academy Awards:
Chris Rock as Host
I was interested in Chris Rock's opening monolouge. With the awards not having any black nominees, you knew Chris Rock would certainly have something to say about that. It didn't take him very long. I'm sure all you'll hear about is how controversial it was. The first sentence out of the hosts mouth was about it. Rock was funny. He's a hilarious comedian, how could he not be? However, outside of a few funny jokes in his monologue, I didn't care too much for him overall. The girl scout cookie thing was cute. I thought it was funny how he was calling out all the rich movie stars to not be cheap. After the girls came out to sell their cookies, Rock would continiously keep his daughters girl scouts part of the show. The lack of black nominess had every black person addressing it, like Kevin Hart. Diversity became the whole basis of the show. Chris Rock closed the show dropping a "Black Lives Matter" like it wasn't enough already.
Not Enough Michael Strahan
Michael Strahan is one of the best TV personalities these days. Not just because he was a Hall of Fame Defensive End for the New York Giants, but because he is an extremely lovable and funny guy. Strahan was used primarily for the Red Carpet. I would have liked to see him present an award or have some kind of bigger role during the show. He's not a movie star but he's a Superbowl Champion damn it! He was the leader of the team that took down the undefeated Patriots! I guess you could say I just wanted to see Michael Strahan because he was a Hall of Fame Defensive End for the New York Giants.
UPSET! Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Mark Rylance
This was an award many (including Vegas odds) had Slyvester Stallone winning. I haven't seen Bride of Spies but it looks pretty damn good. I'm cool with Mark Rylance winning this award even though I havent even seen the movie. The movie can't be bad. Tom Hanks has the lead role and that motherfucker doesn't make bad movies. The fact that Vegas odds didn't have Rylance as the favorite made this extremely interesting. Vegas oddsmakers sucking everyone into betting Stallone at an afforadble spread (-400). I know a lot of people were upset not to see Stallone win this for his role in Creed but do you really need to see this guy win an Oscar for playing Rocky Balboa for his 7th fucking time? Good for Mark Rylance and his god awful recieding hairline on the Oscar.
Best Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu
Back to Back Champs! Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu takes home his second consecutive Oscar award for Best Director for his job in The Revenant. Alejandro won Best Actor in 2015 for the movie Birdman. Why is it that there's a time limit for their acceptance speeches? I mean people like that fat bitch who won Best Documentary Short shouldn't be getting the same amount of time for her acceptance speech as Best Director. This is a big award and he had to speak over the rude interuption of music signalling the winner to hurry the fuck up. This guys going for a dynasty of Best Director awards. He should have all the time in the world to speak. Best Actress in a Leading Role: Brie Larson
One of my favorite Red Carpet looks. Everybody looks fucking great at Award shows but Brie Larson had a beautiful dress and I'm a sucker for the color blue. I didn't see Room but it look's pretty good. More people on the internet were buzzing about the little kid Jacob Tremblay than Brie Larson. That kid will probably be landing in a lot more movies. My opinion isn't too worthy for this award because I didn't see any movie these nominees were in but congratulations to Brie Larson and her blue gucci dress.
Best Picture: Spotlight
I don't think I've seen a television commercial for this movie. The only time I knew this movie existed was on Youtube ads. The movie looks really good and has an excellent cast. That dare Rachel McAdams... oh my god do I love her. Spotlight was not promoted as well as it should have been. How much money did this movie make? All of that doen't matter, whether this movie wasn't promoted enough or didn't earn enough, The Oscar speaks for itself. Shoutout to Michael Keeten for starring in consecutive Best Picture nominations.
Best Actor in a Leading Role: LEONARDO MOTHERFUCKING DICAPRIO
So after splashing water in my eyes trying to stay up till midnight to make sure Leonardo DiCaprio wins this award. We finally got to see him win the only accomplishment this ambitious and gifted actor doesn't have. Not anymore. I touched on guaranteeing Leo would win this award on a previous blog, but I still had to see it to believe it. Most importantly, I wanted to see his acceptance speech. What a letdown that was. Leo had to sit at these awards for his brilliant performances and see somebody else get Best Actor so many times and now that he finally gets the award he talks about.... climate change? FUCKING CLIMATE CHANGE! Talk about how your the best actor in Hollywood and now achieved everything in your career and your going to bang 6 girls at one time tonight. Intead, he dedicated the award to the nature of the earth. Fuck that. Come on man. I guess this is what happens when you literally have absolutely no real problems. Typical 'I'm a great person shit trying to make a difference in the world'. Acceptance speech was a let down. I'm interpreting that speech as just a nice way of saying "Fuck all yall. I'm better than everyone. I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!"
I have had enough of New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony. There is no player more overpaid than Carmelo and he has proven he cannot carry a team to even a 500 record. The time has come to trade the Knicks "star player".
Wednesday night Carmelo Anthony airballed a potential game-tying 3 point basket with time expiring. A clean look that he blindly just chucked with 1.9 seconds on the clock. Carmelo didn't even KNICK the rim. (God I love corny puns) This didn't seem to bother New York's All Star. In fact, he found it rather comical. After this horrific excuse for a shot from a so called "superstar", Carmelo Anthony just laughed it off. Isn't it just great to see your star player find such amusement out of such an important and embarassing shot?
Fuck this guy. I had this fat pig's back for so long and I just don't have any logical reason to support him anymore. The guy has proven he can't carry a team what so ever. Carmelo can't even make the playoffs in the Eastern Conference which is never strong. Nonetheless, this chubby fuck can't even bring this team to a 500 record. Losing season after losing season after fucking losing season. It's an absolute disgrace that Melo has a max contract. Obviously the only reason he stayed in New York is because the Knicks had the most money to offer him. Carmelo Anthony is a selfish overrated piece of shit.
The Knicks are doing the Toronto Raptors a huge favor by winning 2 of their last 15 games. The 2nd seeded Raptors own the Knicks first round draft pick and that pick looks more like gold as the season goes on. Oh and those two games that they won were against the fucking Suns and Timberwolves. Bravo Knickerbockers!!! This team is an absolute joke and the first place to point your finger is at their player with the max deal that deserves quarters at an arcade room.
As a Knick fan I'm just blinded by cruel facts like accepting Carmelo Anthony as my best player. Melo shoots about 20 times a game and all his shots are poor shot selections. He willingly shoots contested jump shots. This year he finally learned how to pass the rock and we still can't win. He shoots a poor field goal percentage but manages to get his 20 points a night and he's just proclaimed this superstar. Oh cool he heats up in a quarter from time to time. Whoopty fucking doo! So does Jimmer Ferdette and that goody two shoes only has a 10 day contract. This guy has to go! It's time for the Knicks to rip somebody off like the Raptors ripped us off for fucking Andrea Bargnani. Or any NBA team that ever made a deal with the Knicks for that matter. There's NBA teams out there that needs asses in the seats and will be brainwashed like I was thinking Carmelo Anthony is a player who can take a team to the next level.
Just rebuild this god damn team. Last I checked LeBron James is still in the Eastern Conference so nobody is going to win the East for atleast another 5 years unless some Western Conference All Stars move East. Get me back a first round pick that we love giving away. The Knicks will never win with Carmelo Anthony. This team is literally hopeless unless they sign Kevin Durant or Russell Westbrook. With all likleyhood of that not happening, the Knicks need to rebuild just like the Celtics did and are doing.
I really don't know why I backed Carmelo Anthony up. Not only is he not good. He's overpaid and he doesn't give a flying fuck. His game sucks. The Knicks would be able to get a great deal for Anthony. It doesn't matter how bad the team is because Madison Square Garden will always be packed out (just look at last year). The Knicks arn't going anywhere with Melo so they might as well try to get better in the long run. The only thing I will miss about Carmelo Anthony in a Knicks uniform is the PA announcer calling his name. Seriously that dude is great. As for you Melo, be gone. Go laugh at your airballs and shoot 30% somewhere else and con another team into paying you that money you managed to get.
Here comes the moneyyyyyyyyy! Last night on Monday Night Raw marked the return of Shane McMahon. It's been over 6 years since the boss' son has been seen on WWE television. Nobody saw his return coming and the Detroit crowd gave him a thunderous ovation.
Wrestling has been bad. Really fucking bad. They've been pushing this tool bag Roman Reigns to win the WWE title and nobody wants to see him win it. He's so unoriginal and is an absolute disaster on the microphone. So many top stars are either retired or injured. WrestleMania was looking like a complete nightmare. Then entered Shane O Mac.
In a gig where Vince McMahon was presenting his daughter Stephanie with some stupid award named after his father, the family love affair was spoiled by Vince's son Shane. The entrance was great. Shane got grey but hes still got his signature dance down pat. Running around in a suit and Jordans blowing the roof off the building. In todays world everybody knows about everything because of social media, so any surprise is usally ruined. WWE did a great job keeping the Shane return on the down low. Even my wrestling freak loser friend didn't know about this and he's always on top of the wrestling rumormills. His return was simply awesome. Shane didn't even speak for a good 5 minutes because the crowd wouldn't stop going insane.
Shane pretty much told his dad and sister that the product has gone to shit and he wants to take over Raw. After the Million Dollar Princess was asked to leave the ring and exited to a "Na Na Na Na Good Bye" chants, Vince proposed a deal to Shane O Mac. The Chairman of the Board said if Shane wrestles one match and wins then he can run Monday Night Raw. Shane accepted and then Vince said he gets to pick Shane's opponent. Vince selected none other than The Undertaker. Shit got even more real when Vince said in his hilarious, twisted, squealing, exagggerated, overacting voice that the match will take place at WrestleMania and in a Hell in the Cell. Shane accepted the deal and now WrestleMania actually got interesting.
Vince McMahon wanted this to be the biggest WrestleMania ever at AT&T Stadium in Dallas Texas. God knows how much he payed The Rock just to make a non-wrestling appearence and talk on the microphone. Whatever he paid, it's well worth it. Thank you Vince. And thank you Vince for recognizing what a terrible product you have. Vince had to pull his son back into the business and compete in order to get some hype around his biggest pay-per-view of the year. Shane McMahon has pulled off some of the biggest spots in wrestling. From falling off titantrons, getting tossed through glass, and jumping coast to coast in the ring, Shane McMahon delivered many "Holy Shit" moments. Even at his and the Undertakers age, something awesome is going to happen in this match. Hopefully any rumors of Shane not fighting and ending up selecting an opponent to take on Taker instead of himself doesn't happen. That dreadful name of John Cena has been rapidly flowing around across the damn internet. This match was booked perfectly. WWE finally got something right. The fans got something unexpected and are now anticipated for it. Do not fuck it up.
I've been so accustomed to horrible story lines. I usually watch the 2 big shows of WrestleMania and the Royal Rumble (which i gamble on). After the show I usually question why I watched it. Wrestling just isn't the same as it use to be. I use to be the biggest fan in my pre-highschool days. There's no more cursing, no more bleeding, and no more Bra and Panties matches. Everything has to be politically correct. Wrestling no longer has the stars I loved or are allowed to give these new guys a fun character to be due to this PG bullshit. Last night was done just right. The WWE needed the buzz of Shane's return and so did WrestleMania.
There is a lot of hype going around on the internet after the third and final trailer for Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice dropped earlier this week. The anticipation to see The Dark Knight take on The Man of Steel is getting higher and higher. Quite frankly, this movie looks pretty stupid to me.
So pretty much Superman rudely steps onto Batman's home turf of Gotham and Batman is pretty pissed about it. Not only does Superman start trying to steal the Caped Crusaders thunder, Clark Kent rips Batman in his newspaper, The Daily Planet. Batman doesn't like the whole idea of this godly hero showing up shitting in his coffee. Neither Super Hero knows if their counterparts are actually good or bad. As a result, Batman and Superman go at it with one another until they must work together to stop this ugly, cemented, moving human sidewalk looking thing called Dooms Day. Wonder Woman gets thrown in the mix and this movie just looks incredibly messy and chaotic with an abundance of unnecessary and overwhelming detail.
Batman vs Superman is one of the most anticipated movies of 2016. A popular amount of people were outraged by Ben Affleck being casted as Batman/Bruce Wayne. I'm all on board for Affleck and it seems that people have moved passed the heat and accepted him as their Dark Knight. The movie is going to bank. That's what Super Hero movies do. It just doesn't look like it's going to be any good. Putting these hero's on a movie screen will put asses in the seats. Mine too. As much of a disaster I think this film is going to be, I still need to see it. I'm hoping I'm wrong. 3 Trailers in and I still haven't been swayed into a positive direction. Let me elaborate on the things I hate from what I've gotten from the trailers:
No Batman Villains
The absolute number 1 reason I love Batman is because of the villains. Every villain is great. We will not be seeing any Batman villain in this movie. Wouldn't it be cool to see Lex Luthor work together with any Batman villain. Yes it would. Sadly we won't be getting to see a Batman villain and we will get to see a lame Lex Luthor.
Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor
No. Just no. Why is Mark Zuckerberg casted as Superman's arch-nemesis? I thought Lex Luthor was suppose to be bald. Why does he have a mop on his head? People were bitching about Ben Affleck as Batman but nobody muttered a peep about this twerp playing Lex Luthor? Bryan Cranston would of been great. Instead of Heisenberg we got Eisenberg. I think Eisenberg is a good actor but I just feel he's too young and a bit of a light-weight for this role.
The Characters Ages
In this movie everybody is suppose be older. Our intelligence is incredibly insulted by that point. Ben Affleck fits the bill as an older Bruce Wayne but some of the other cast... not so much. Bruce Wayne is showing some grey but I wouldn't sell a pack of smokes to Lex Luthor. How does Luthor go from being played by Kevin Spacey to Jesse Eisenberg? That's about a 25 year age difference. Alfred Pennyworth has gotten younger as Bruce has gotten older. Shouldn't Alfred be like 90? Or dead? He's been the butler for the Wayne family for ages. Jeremy Irons can probably do more sit-ups than me.
Wonder Woman
Why? In a movie titled "Batman vs. Superman" we have Wonder Woman. I don't understand her purpose in this movie at all. How come we can't keep the two faces of super hero's going at it. Now we got this lame bitch flaunting her sexy body and boring gig around in this film. This is like Vince McMahon making Wonder Woman the special guest referee the last Raw before WrestleMania. They should have named this movie Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman vs. Dooms Day.
Director Zack Snyder
I'm not calling Zack Snyder out because I obviously haven't seen the movie. I'm just worried how somebody who directed a Superman movie (Man of Steel 2013) and not a Batman movie will treat my beloved Bat. From the trailers, Superman already looks like the stronger guy. There's at least 3 incidents off the top of my head that show Batman down and out. Superman seems to stand taller in the trailers. Don't fuck with Batman Zack.
Superman is Fucking Gay
No I don't mean that Superman likes men. I'm using the term "gay" in the 14 year old term of saying "not cool." Of all the Super Hero's out there, (and there's a fucking lot. Way too many) Superman is my least favorite. I can't phantom how anybody likes The Man of Steel. Superman is indestructible. Name a power and he's got it. He's so perfect that it makes him uninteresting. How do you expect me to believe that Batman stands a chance against Superman? I don't think a Bat-Blade is going to cut it. Oh there's always that Kryptonite that is so rare that it always turns up. Kryptonite is this weird glassy type shit from Superman's home planet of Krypton that blew up. For some reason Kryptonite is Superman's only weakness and it like gives Superman a fever and makes him lose his powers. Even this guys Achilles-Heel bores the fuck out of me. What really grinds my gears is how somehow Superman is unidentifiable. He doesn't wear a god damn mask! How does nobody know that Clark Kent is fucking Superman?! Clark Kent's glasses just totally hides his Superman gimmick. We as the audience just have to believe that crap. Nobody see's the blatant similarity he has to this Super Hero? Like when Clark Kent cleans his glasses off and doesn't have them on nobody in his office says "hey you look like Superman."? Guess not. Why does Superman want to live a normal life? Dude, you can fucking fly. Why are you working for a newspaper company? Ok I need to stop before I get really carried away. I should of just made a blog about how much I hate Superman.
There you have it. I totally think this movie is going to be a complete mess. People are going to be going in with very high expectations. Mine will be very low. Hopefully I am proven wrong and this movie is as great as it potentially can be. We will just have to find out March 25th. Here's a look at the last trailer.
**Warning** If you are as sensitive as Ronda Rousey you may not want to read this blog. There will be some not-so-nice things said in this article. In this blog I'm going to kick Ronda Rousey's ass. Wait a minute.... Holly Holm did that already!!!! I should revise that statement. I'm just not going to back her up and feel bad for her. I'm the tough son of a bitch hiding behind a lap top and I have no sympathy for you Ronda!
Ronda Rousey was a guest on the Ellen DeGeneres Show and it was an "emotional" interview. In this interview Rousey discussed her fight with Holly Holm and how she was effected by her first UFC defeat. She took the loss like an absolute bitch. Ronda "Rowdy" Rousey was all high and mighty while she was champion on top of the UFC womens division. Ending fights in 10 seconds and running her mouth on celebrities. Then she got out-brawled by "Hollywood" Holly Holm (I self proclaimed her Hollywood by the way). Rousey was an overwhelming favorite to take down Holm like she did to her other 12 opponents, but the +900 underdog wasn't having any of that. The undestructable Rousey has been destroyed.
"Hollywood" Holly Holm knocks Ronda Rousey out
Rousey came to realization that now that she's been beat, she will not be getting all the awesome publicity she was getting and loving. Ronda bursted into tears and told Ellen, "What am I anymore if I'm not this? And I was literally sitting there thinking about killing myself at that exact second. I'm like, I'm nothing. What do I do anymore? Nobody gives a shit about me anymore without this." Oh it sure breaks my heart to see Ronda like that... This women still has everything. Even with that big 1 loss on her record. Rousey became a feminist icon. So many women drew to her and ate up anything she says or does. In Ellen's interview with the ex-champion, Rousey proved that she is super sensitive and loved the ups and cant handle the downs. "Rowdy" Rousey is being kicked while she's down and she can't handle it at all. She deserves every bit of it in my opinion.
Boo fucking Hoo Ronda. Sorry your not fucking Wonder Women anymore. Why on earth should I feel bad for you? If you wanted Holm so bad again why is she fighting somebody else and your making movies and taking naked body paint pictures? I think the media jumped the gun on Ronda Rousey a little too fast. She only fought in 12 fights and people were already crowning her the Muhammad Ali of UFC. She is a foul-mouthed, conceited, masculine women who loved being in the spot light. She would publically expres her opinions on anything because shes "the tough bitch who doesn't take shit" and she really needs to keep her mouth shut! Like it is now.
I don't know what I want more in Holly Holms match against Miesha Tate on March 5th. Do I want to see Holm fuck up Ronda again. Yes. Yes I do. Buttttttt do I want Miesha Tate to beat Holm so that Ronda doesn't get the satisfaction. I know UFC president Dana White wants Holm to win so that he can bank on the Rousey/Holm rematch. There's no reason why a blockbuster pay-per-view drawing between Rousey and Holm shouldn't of been on March 5th. Holms fighting again and Ronda's not, and Rousey wont fight anybody else except for Holm. I say this to you Holly... Fuck Rousey. Fight her on your terms. Fight somebody else after Miesha Tate and don't give this bitch the gratification of the rematch she thinks she deserves. Either way whenever Holm and Rousey do go at it again, I think you all know who I'll be pulling for.
You didn't go away Ronda. Everybody is gonna be riding your ass on your "comeback story" now. So don't worry, stop crying, your still the face of Womens Ultimate Fighting even though your not the one with the belt. However Ronda.... This is your last chance. Your last opportunity to be in the spot light. If Rousey doesn't beat Holm and only Holm for the title, you might as well jump off a cliff or whatever the fuck you were going to do because it's all over. Please don't commit suicide. I don't wish that upon you. I wouldn't miss you though... : 0
I'm Vincent Clinco and that was a #SharkAttack
By the way, it's too bad Ellen DeGeneres eats box. There's something about those baby blues that I find rather attractive. Check out Ronda's interview with Ellen in the video below.
The Golden State Warriors are nothing less than impressive after winning the NBA Finals last year. The Warriors are 48-4 with a 24-0 record at home. The 1996-1997 Chicago Bulls set the NBA record for wins, finishing the regular season with an astounding 72-10 record and ultimately winning the NBA Finals. We all have the opportunity to witness this Warriors team surpass that historic accolade. My money is on us NOT seeing history in the making.
The Warriors need to finish off the season with a 25-5 record to surpass the Bulls record. Despite how superb of a start their season went, the Warriors now carry a bigger target on their back. The target was big enough for just being the NBA champs, but when you put a record that involves the name Michael Jordan into play..... That target becomes astronomical. Every team is going to want to take this team down. It's certainly not going to be an easy task, but the Warriors are going to get every teams A-Game for the rest of the season.
The Warriors have a pretty tough schedule remaining. There are very good teams in the Western Conference that do not get the respect they deserve. That is obviously in large part to the success of Golden State. A team that's not getting any love (which they probably like) is the San Antonio Spurs. All this talk about the Warriors and the Spurs are only 3.5 games behind them. Simply amazing. The Warriors did kick the shit out of the Spurs in their previous encounter this season at the Oracle. The Warriors face the Spurs 3 more times this year. 2 of those 3 games will be at the AT&T Center. Oh by the way the Spurs haven't lost a game at home this season. They are 28-0 on their home court. Be more under the radar than that? You motherfucking cannot. Golden State also goes up against the #3 seeded Oklahoma City Thunder (40-14) and the #4 seeded Los Angeles Clippers (35-18) two times each.
I think it's too hard for the Warriors to sustain this level of winning against such great basketball teams. Golden State is spectacular at simply everything and Stephen Curry is un-guardable. I just believe it is too much to overcome. If there's a team that can do it, it's certainly this one but I got too much respect for the other great teams and great players in this league. I'm going to say the Spurs beat the Warriors twice, the Thunder win once, the Clippers win once, and then one or two teams give the Warriors that upset nobody ever saw coming. I can see Golden State finishing their season tied with the Bulls record or 1 loss shy of it. It's really going to come down to those games vs. San Antonio.
The NBA regular season has really become a long exhausting season that really just needs to seed the Western Conference playoff teams so they can play in a legit playoff bracket to find out who will play LeBron James in the NBA Finals. The Warriors implemented a new meaning to the NBA regular season. This record is a big deal. We may never see another team ever come as close as this Warriors team does to the 96-97 Bulls record. Stephen Curry is the most exciting player in the NBA. The reigning MVP will be winning his second consecutive NBA MVP award for his dazzling play. Whether the Warriors break this record or not, they are absolutely the Must-See team of the NBA. The Warriors can definitely do this, but I believe they will just fall short. This is a special ride for a special team and we all need to be excited for every Golden State basketball game the rest of the season.
Valentine's Day is a festival of romantic love. Nothing but love fills the air on February 14th every year. This is a day of hearts, love letters, chocolate, and flowers that will die in 2 days. Valentine's Day is such a special time to celebrate love and affection. Then there's social media......
The 14th day of the second month of the year is hands down the worst day of social media. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Myspace (if thats still a thing. Sorry Tom), and Snapchat are all flooded with "Valentine's love." If your social media followers don't know that your boyfriend got you Sherries Berries, would it really be a Valentine's present? Regardless where you turn, Valentine's Day is red-hot (pun intended), on all social media networks.
It is preposterous seeing the amount of posts from people on Valentine's day. This is simply the number 1 day of the year people urge attention. I mean how in the world can anybody carry on their day without sharing how their Valentine's Day is? It just can't be done! Everyone is going to get hit with a whole bunch of bullshit from every god damn direction because all anybody needs in this world is acknowledgement. I post this blog today to break down the 4 types of people your going to see on your social media pages today.
The Best Boyfriend First and foremost there is no other place to begin than every single girl having the best boyfriend in the whole wide world. No gift is a gift unless the recipient's followers are apprehensive of the gift they recieved from their Ride-Or-Die. "Ohhh Bae did such a great job. He knows me so well. Always and Forever. Love Ya to the moon and back! What would I do without you! You complete me! My Rock!" Why can't you and your significant other just enjoy your Valentine's Day together? What's funny about these are that you probably know at least 30% of the people posting these are either getting railed out by another dude or are cheating on that very "special" boyfriend. Breakups either happen before or after the big V-Day. Everybody know's that.
The Lonley Valentine These are the people who cry mercifully for sympathoy. "Ohhhhh my goddddd another year without a Valentine... Just shoot me! OMFG! My life is soooo horrible. I guess it's just another year of Me, Myself, and I. Valentine's Day was only invented to make single people feel like shit..." These are the type of people who would likely post their own present. Usually alcohol. Getting mad originial saying they treated themselves to their own Valentine's Day gift because they don't have a Valentine and are looking for any form of affection. We also can't forget those classic Memes! You cant spell sympathetic without pathetic.
The Food/Pet Poster "I don't have a Valentine but I have my Doggy!!! He's so cute. My Valentine is pizza because it never disappoints me!" You fucking commiserable losers! It's Valentine's Day so you need a couple of likes to feel better. People post their fucking pet and their "food porn" every day. All of a sudden it becomes their date on Valentine's Day because you need to be included on such an enchanting lovey-dovey day. You suck.
The Anti-Valentines Day Person This is me! I'm getting all kind of hyprocitial up in this bitch by posting this blog up on social media for ultimately exactly what everybody else posts shit up on their pages for on Valentine's Day... Reads and likes. There are people who will post about other people's post to try to sequentially steal the prize of likes on the holiday of love. Fellow people like me will drop a post mocking the overwhelming amount of Valentine's Day posts.
I wish I wasn't so fucking addicted to scrolling through my phone. I scroll and read the same shit over and over again and lose my god damn mind but I just can't stop! Social Media really does suck. I don't care about what half the people I follow say and I don't know why I even follow them. Still, I occupy so much time on all these social networks. I just can't stand how everything has to be showcased these days. Valentine's Day is suppose to be about you and your fellow love interest and nobody else. That's just not todays world anymore. All my social networking apps will be polluted and infested with ridiculous and unneccessary posts so that we all know the kind of day they had because it wouldn't be the same day if we didn't fucking know about it. This is the world we live in today and the future doesn't look any different. Happy Valentine's Day.
This summers Nikon at Jones Beach theater concert schedule has been released and Jimmy Buffet is not performing. This is not cool. Jimmy Buffet usually has a concert every summer at Jones Beach but his name is not on the schedule. I am not OK with this.
This is not only bad news for Parrot heads but this is also bad news for my fellow country loving alcoholics. The Jimmy Buffet tailgate is the biggest parking lot party on Long Island and we are going to be without it this summer. I only know like 3 Buffet songs but I certainly know how to funnel and stumble (rhyme intended) all over Field 4. It is extremely common for people to fill up the Jones beach theater parking lots and not attend the concert because that's how awesome the tailgate is. People start packing the lots up as early as 8 in the morning.
What's up with Buffet not coming to Jones beach this year? Is he finally too old? Big country names are still performing at Jones Beach this year like Jason Aldean, Brad Paisley, Darius Rucker, and Rascall Flats. However, none of them will be able to bring the same tailgate that Buffet's concerts bring. I'm keeping hope that he's still set to perform in Wantagh and the concert date just isn't set yet. No Buffet concert is too tragic to not keep wishful optimism that his name will appear on the concert schedule. Please god I need this. I need to roast my skin and blackout in a parking lot 10 minutes away from my house. Please god, please Jimmy, don't do this to me!
Donald Trump kicked ass in the New Hampshire primary. Trump had roughly 34% of the vote. People rip on Trump because he has no political experience but this guy is completely all in. He sees that Obamacare has actually caused more problems than it's solved. He sees a tanked economy and doesn't think we should pay for things that is given so freely outside of the borders. "We are going to beat all these countries that are taking so much of our money away from us." Trump is not running for enjoyment. He truely believes this country is in trouble and he can do something about if he is Commander and Chief.
After the results of the New Hampshire primary have been revealed, if you didnt believe in Donald Trump before, you better believe now that this guy is for real and means fucking business. Sure, he's cocky and brash but this man is one of the best businessman i've ever seen. Trump said in his victory speech, "I am going to be the greatest jobs president that God ever created" and finished by saying "We're going to win in South Carolina." Winning the New Hampshire primary is a huge step in Trumps campagin. This proved their are many supporters for The Donald.
The Daily News did not take very lightly to the primary results. The newspaper not only ripped the winning Republican, but completely shit on everybody who voted for him. The Daily News is dominantly liberal but it is every Americans right to vote and obviously people have different opinions. Report the damn news and not your fucking opinion. I was pretty surprised seeing their mockery cover page of Trump as a mean clown. You are the clowns Daily News. Now I know if I wanted to read facts to not read your tabloid media newspaper.
This article attacked Donny T and his supporters hard by calling New Hampshire voters "clueless" and Trump a "billionaire bore" and a "mad mogul with a new round of ammo." In the article, Adam Edelman refers to Trumps voters as "brainless." Fuck off Adam. Yea, the headline got my attention and it made me read your stupid article, but I can safely say that will be the last time I read anything out of the Daily News. Go ahead and keep calling Trump a clown and insulting all who support him. I hope his votes keep increasing while your already-low newspaper sales decrease more.
I can't lie. The picture and title of Wednesday's Daily News made me laugh and got my attention. Donald Trump looks hilarious in clown makeup. He is no clown, he is a serious candidate and his success has gotten to the head of this Edelman loser. After finally taking the time to check one of these hateful articles out, i've realized that all I did was waste my time. The Daily News is nothing but an opinionated and derogaory source of todays news. I hope I continuously see a hateful cover of Trump on their papers because that means The Donald is doing well. The next time I need to whipe my ass after a long night of redbull vodkas and Taco Bell, I will use the Daily News. Fuck you Daily News. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain
No court case in American history is more famous than the OJ Simpson trial. FX came up with the dynamite idea to assemble a star studded cast for a series to relive this trial which consisted of so many notorious incidents. Despite knowing everything that happened in the case, I was pretty enthusiastic about the series and the amassed cast it showcases. However, after the airing of the second episode last night, I find the show to be more comical than riveting.
The FX series is still a must-see for me. I've watched countless of documentarys and youtube videos to not want to see the whole series. I've even learned a new thing in each episode so far. Nicole Simpson really had an open casket. I saw an open casket in the scene of her wake and screamed bullshit. I figured she was stabbed so many times that they wouldn't reveal her body. They even said in the show that she was almost decapitated. Tip of the cap to those mortuary cometologists. I hope they got a raise. I also didn't know this AZ guy was driving his own white Bronco identical to OJ's. I always assumed it was Simpson's vehicle. So somehow they impounded his car with the blood in it and this guy still escaped murder charges. Still so astonishing to me but lets get back on track. I look forward to the rest of the season. What more can they stretch out and turn into unintentional humor?
The People vs OJ Simpson is clearly not suppose to be funny. It's an "American Crime Story" of a factual event. I have so many pet peeves about the show but I'm still going to watch every second of every episode every Tuesday night. Despite the A-List of actors in this, they're performances now bring humor into my life for an hour once a week. Here are my opinions on some of the cast members 2 episodes in. Tuesday nights can't come soon enough.
David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian
Let' start right here. How can anybody take this guy seriously? I personally think Schwimmer is one of the worst and most annoying actors in Hollywood. I cannot stand his fucking voice. All he does is whine. If he's not actually whining, he sounds like he's whining. Ohh Juice, Juice no, Juice, Juice, Juice, AHHHH SHUT THE FUCK UP! Whenever he said the word "juice" in episode 1 (which is a whole lot) my body would cringe. After watching episode 2, I found myself laughing at this unsatisfactory actor. I'm sure Robert Kardashian didn't sound like Lenny from Of Mice and Men. The best role out there for Schwimmer would be as an animated voiceover for a very slow handicapped person. He would fucking nail that part. Cuba Gooding Jr. as Orenthal James Simpson
I got your back Gooding Jr. The biggest critique I really see on him is based on his physical appearence in relation to OJ. He doesn't sound like him.. he's too small.. and he just doesn't look anything like him. His acting is fine. I mean so far its a lot of crying, but OJ was such a bitch during this time because he was scared of jail. Cuba Gooding Jr. comes out as soft but that's who OJ was. He was a famous and likeable ex football player and actor. James Cameron wanted OJ Simpson to play the Terminator but it was feared he was "too nice" to play the role as a cold blooded killer. Little did they know how mistaken they were about that. Gooding Jr. is a good actor and I don't have any problem wih him in this role.
John Travolta as Robert Shapiro
Ummm what the fuck is up with this guys makeup? I'd rather see Freddy Krueger in my closet than John Travolta as Robert Shapiro. I couldn't even tell you if hes acting well or not because I keep trying to find Vincent Vega under this mask. Speaking of the mask, that's exactly what Travolta looks like in this series. No not Stanley Ipcus' mask, the villain Dorian's mask. Travolta and his clay-face is nightmarish.
Sarah Paulson as Marcia Clark
Probably everybody's favorite character so far. She can't stand how people stand up for OJ because he's famous and she want's him to suffer the consequences he deserves. I'm not going to lie, I still defend Lawrence Taylor for his rape incident so I get why a lot of the public had OJ's back. Paulson is definetly the fan favorite so far and she sucks down cigarettes like a champ. By the way I feel bad for the real Marcia Clark's children because she looks like a straight up fucking bitch.
Courtney B. Vance as Johnny Cochran
Courtney B. Vance is an interesting character. In episode 1 before going on air he says OJ is guilty but then went on air and had OJs back. He hasn't made his way onto Simpson's team yet but the whole race situation is on the horizon in episode 3. Nobody pulled the race card like attorney Johnny Cochran. He ultimately wins OJ the case because he persuaded the prominently black jury that the police were trying to frame Simpson because of his race. Cochran was the guy you turned to if you were an African American in trouble. He also defended Michael Jackson, Sean Combs, Jim Brown, Snoop Dogg, and other low listed celebrities. Police brutality and racism was Cochran's go-to. Vance seems to play this well but his role hasn't blossomed yet. "If it don't fit you must acquit"
The Kardashian Kids
Get fucking lost! The kids have abosultely nothing to do with the OJ Simpson case besides being the daughters of Robert Kardashian. There's no need to show them or address them. But of course, they must be mentioned and shown because theyr'e the most powerful family in television. It was pivotal to cast 6 year olds to play Kim and Chole. Ugh just stop it. In episode 1 they had the enchanting performance of running around at Nicole Simpsons funeral. In episode 2 they blew us all away by yelling "Daddy's on TV!" and then their own last name. So unneccessary. So irrelovant. So Hollywood. I can't wait to laugh at Schwimmer acting, Gooding Jr. crying, Paulson ripping cigarettes, and Travolta creeping the fuck out of the audience. Tuesday nights can't come soon enough.
In an interview conducted by Al Trautwig in the first quarter of the Knicks vs Wizards game Tuesday, President Phil Jackson said it's a very "slim chance" the Knicks will be making a move this trade deadline. Is the Zen Master telling the truth? Does he have something up his sleeve? I really don't know why Jackson would say that and not mean it, so we should all be prepared to keep watching Jose Calderon get blown past every point guard in the league.
This news should have the Toronto Raptors doing cartwheels. The Raptors obtained the Knicks first round pick for this years draft as a result of the Andrea Bargnani trade. I think we all know who got the better end of that stupid fucking trade. Toronto is the second best team in the Eastern Conference and have a great luxury owning the Knicks first round pick. The Knicks are 4.5 games out of the playoffs with 3 teams ahead of them. If there wasn't an NBA lottery, the Knicks would hold the 9th pick in the NBA draft at the moment. Either way the Knicks pick will have Toronto picking in that ballpark.
If this "slim chance" is true, the Knicks season is doomed. If their season hasn't already been doomed from the first tip of the season like usual.... This team had hard fights with top dogs until this recent 10 game stretch. This team is in absolute dire need of a point guard. Names like Jeff Teague and Mike Conley have surfaced the rumor mill. Any trade pieces the Knicks have would most likely consist of Aaron Afflalo, Jose Calderon, and either Derrick Williams or Lance Thomas. How can I forget a first round draft pick to throw in the mix. We all know how much the Knicks like to trade that.
Whether or not the Knicks make a move or not, they cannot afford to mess up their team next year by trying to improve it this season. This isn't NBA 2K. Since the Knicks aren't going to improve their team in the NBA draft, they have to try to make a splash in free agency. As desperately as this team needs a point guard, the bottom line is that Phil Jackson probably knows the Knicks place in the Eastern Conference right now and can't hurt next years Knicks by helping this years team. The most frustrating word to hear as a Knicks fan is patience. I'm talking really patient. Until LeBron James either comes to New York, goes to the Western Conference, or retires, the Knicks are never going to the NBA Finals anyway. Until then, our loyalty as fans will just keep making James Dolan richer as we keep watching a shitty product. Fuck. My. Life.
The New York Knicks have parted ways with Derek Fisher. The Knickerbockers are 23-31 this season and lost 9 of their last 10 games. In Fishers first season coaching, his Knicks finished with their worst record in franchise history. Coaching the worst Knicks team of all time is lower than a homeless bums income. I don't care if Carmelo missed half the year, last season was fucking disgraceful.
This season us Knicks fans saw some hope. First round pick Kristaps Porzingis showed that he belongs in the NBA. Yes the guy everybody ripped apart and hated because we knew nothing about him. The Knicks were battling around 500 and for a low seeded playoff spot. Then this horrible stretch occurred and finally enough was enough. Derek Fisher has been shown the door and I couldn't be happier.
There is a whole lot of things that aggravated me about Derek Fisher during the 136 games he coached. We'll start with him rarely calling timeouts in the most important offensive possession of the game. Why draw up a play? Why on earth would the teams coach actually coach?! Whatever happened to Fish and Phil perfecting the triangle offense? I thought that's why he was brought here. The Knicks triangle offense is simply what the Knicks offense has always been, a Carmelo Anthony isolation. Then there's the whole Matt Barnes incident. To sum it up quick, Coach Fisher plowed out his former teammates wife behind his back and Barnes found out from his 6 year old kids and hunted him down. You try to tell me a player is going to respect a second year coach who played in the league two seasons ago when a report like that comes out....
Now that Fisher is gone, the Knicks need a brave soul to take on the coaching duties. Kurt Rambis has been appointed the interim head coach but there's some interesting names out there for Phil Jackson to consider. Let's take a look at potential candidates...
Tom Thibodeau
Clearly Thibodeau is the guy that jumps out to us. He works his players hard and preaches defense. Two things the Knicks "star" player Carmelo Anthony isn't about. Rumors are running wild that he is indeed interested in taking the job. Thibodeau isn't going to be intimidated by Phil, Melo, or the fans. This guy means business and doesn't take shit. We were all shocked when the Bulls and Thibs parted ways but a coach like Tommy T could just be the fiery and hard nosed coach New York basketball needs. Luke Walton
It's safe to say Luke Walton will be a head coach in this league much sooner than later. Walton filled in for Steve Kerr coaching the Warriors to a historic start. Unfortunately, he doesn't get credited for any of those wins which doesn't make any fucking sense. The team won 33 straight games and currently have a 41 game home winning streak. Straight insanity. Walton is definitely going to be a hot commodity for every team, maybe Phil can sway him to the big apple. Phil Jackson
Get your fucking ass down to the court and coach these guys yourself. I mean if your the greatest coach ever and you want this team to win wouldn't that make sense? Mark Jackson
This is a New York guy. Jackson played for St. Johns and the New York Knicks. His departure with Golden State in his only coaching tenure was pretty shady. The Warriors weren't a great team for a long time but Jackson got them back to the playoffs. He would be replaced by Steve Kerr and well... the rest is history. Jackson is a respected basketball mind and maybe a second chance in a city he loves may be the right fit for him and the Knicks. Brian Shaw
This guys name always pops up when there's a coaching vacancy. So here it is again. Brian Shaw is going to get another shot to coach in the NBA and has ties with Phil Jackson. Shaw didn't have great success with the Nuggets but he can't be worse than Derek Fisher right? Jeff Van Gundy
It just wouldn't be right if we didn't have JVG on the list. The Knick have had their fair share of coaching changes and every single time they part ways with a coach you will always hear the name Jeff Van Gundy. It's never going to happen but I just wanted to keep the trend alive. Kevin McHale
I was pretty surprised when the Rockets fired McHale so early into this season. I think that big fucking cry baby Dwight Howard had a lot to do with that. The Rockets went to the Western Conference Finals last season and then they just chew up and spit McHale out after just a 4-7 start?? Still doesn't add up to me. I like McHale and wouldn't mind seeing that goon coach the Knicks. Kurt Rambis
When the Knicks dumped Mike D'Antoni they stuck with their interim head coach Mike Woodson. The players responded and started winning when Woodson took over. Maybe Rambis does a good job and gets the players resect and earns himself the job. Probably not likely because he's not a flashy name but he's at least getting himself an opportunity. Dennis Rodman
The Worm has called out his former coach and he want's the coaching duties! Vincent Clinco
The most qualified candidate undoubtedly. He sits on his couch drinking alcohol and yells at the television. He makes blogs because he knows more about everything than anybody. What in gods name are the Knicks waiting for? Clinco can take the Knicks to places nobody else can. Get the "I'm Coming Home" video back out because this guy is exactly who the Knicks need to sign if they want to raise another banner in MSG.
No more Memes! Leonardo DiCaprio's acting is finally being rewarded with an Oscar for his performance in The Revenant. Why am I so sure you ask? Well i've come to notice that Las Vegas Odds are pretty fucking spot on. Leo is a heavy favorite to come home with the award for Best Actor.
Its finally happening. For all my non junkie degenerates out there, Leonardo DiCaprio is a -5,000 favorite to win Best Actor. That means you have to risk $5,000 to win $100 if you wanted to wager on Leo winning the award. His betting line is set like that because Vegas knows everything. Nobody can win a sport game or an award without Vegas knowing the outcome. The line is set like that for either two reasons:
A - Nobody will risk that much money to win such a minimal prize.
B - We are being lured into betting that obsurd line because it is an obvious outcome and we believe it's free money.
The correct answer is A folks. Now i'm not saying to hit up your local bookie and pretend to drop the mother load on Leo winning a trophy. This is just a spoiler for the star finally getting a hard earned award. It took Leo to get mauled by a god damn bear and sleep inside a dead horse to finally achieve the award he's been so worthy of.
Now that that's settled. What's really up for debate is how much does he deserve best actor for The Revenant over his other Oscar worthy films. Let's take a look back at his Oscar nominations and who won over him.
1994 Best Supporting Actor (What's Eating Gilbert Grape)
Winner: Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive)
This is a no brainer for me. The Fugitive is an incredible movie and I've never seen What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Never even heard of it. Sounds pretty fucking stupid. That being said, Tommy Lee was awesome as he always is and Leo wasn't ready or given the chance in 1994 to compete with an actor like that. The fact he was recognized at 19/20 years old does say plenty about the future star.
2005 Best Actor (The Aviator)
Winner: Jamie Foxx (Ray)
I'm not a big fan of either flict here. Both movies get a whole lot of praise. DiCaprio really got a whole lot of love with this movie but it just never did it for me. I couldn't be less interested in Ray Charles and his boring ass rhythm and blues music. Just because he's blind doesn't make his colorless music good. Bottom line, Ray Charles is a legend and Black Lives Matter.....
2006 Best Actor (Blood Diamond)
Winner: Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland)
Can't really report too much here. I haven't seen either movie. I just watched the trailer for Blood Diamond and I don't have any interest in seeing it. Leo has this weird Australian accent and I'm just not about it. Forest Whitaker is the man. Fantastic actor. I just couldn't give a shit less about Scotland. Couldn't give a shit less that I'm not even going to bother checking out the trailer for the film that got Whitaker an Oscar. Stubborn? Yes. It's just pleseant to know that a great actor like Forest Whitaker had an Oscar. Congrats.
2014 Best Actor (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Winner: Matthew McConaughey
Here is where I'm really going to go to bat for Leo. FUCK YOU McCONAUGHEY! Dallas Buyers Club fucking sucked! I'm not going to lie, I only watched the movie because I needed to see how "great" McConaughey was that he won Best Actor over Leo's role of Jordan Belfort. Oh cool, McConaughey got fucking anorexic for the film... Whooptie fucking doo! Leo got robbed of an Oscar because he played an asshole. (An asshole I'd very much like to be) The Wolf of Wall Street was criticized because it "celebrated" drugs. Leo didn't get the Best Actor because they didn't want his first Oscar to be awarded to the character of Jordan Belfort.
It's going to be a special moment to see Leonardo DiCaprio finally win the Accademy Award for Best Actor. I'm looking forward to his speech. He's probably going to be super-cool about it and crack a joke about it because he knows about all the posts of stupid ass jokes over a picture of him on the internet. I would be mind blown if he doesnt win Best Actor this year. I would have liked to see him win this award for another one of his awesome films but he certainly deserves it for his role as Hugh Glass. It's crazy to think he never won an Oscar for his roles as Billy Costigan, Jack Dawson, Frank Abagnale Jr., or Calvin Candie. Nonetheless, the time has finally come for Leonardo DiCaprio.
