Yeah Yeah Yeah we get it your'e going to watch the Superbowl. Everybody does. Nothing is more cringe worthy to me than the girls who all of a sudden pretend that they love football just because of what a huge event the Superbowl is. This is also particulary difficult for me because of the thousands of dollars I have pending on props, scores, and the game itself. I admit I am definitely easily annoyed of my surroundings due to my gambling. That doesn't make it acceptable for these girls running around posting football related status' and taking selfies in their dad or brothers jersey putting on the football fan act. Now this article does not apply to every girl. There's some girls I'd rather watch the game with than guys, but here is my list.Question asker:
Bitch don't ask fucking questions. If you didn't know how football operated your whole life than don't try learning it in the biggest and last game of the year. I'm trying to watch the game not tell you that there's 4 downs in football.
Don't cheer unless your qualified
I have a fortune on this game. If your going to invest yourself just because its the Superbowl, keep your cheering to your god damn self. Great, Cam Newton is hot and the Panthers have nice colors. The Broncos need to cover 6 and I need that a hell of a lot more than you do.
If you're going to eat healthy don't fucking complain about the awesome food
Like what the fuck did you expect? If there's ever a more deserving day for a Cheat Day it's undoubtedly the Superbowl. I love pigging out on wings, hero's, and pizza at the party while watching the last meaningful football game until September. I respect it if you want to stay loyal to your diet. However, the bitching and moaning about how bad you want to eat the catered food but you "cant" is intolerable! Also for those who are fully participating in Cheat Day.... We don't need to hear about how fat you are and how badly you need to go to the gym the next day.
When is it halftime?
Listen sweetie this isn't the fucking Grammys. You'll see Beyonce lip sync and shake her toosh for 10 minutes soon enough. In the mean time, there's a 2 minute drive and a first half spread to cover. If you cant wait to see the halftime show just Youtube the performer.
I'm here for the Commercials
Superbowl commercials have been so overrated lately. 1 or 2 commercials stand out and then there's always the one controversial commercial that your going to hear about for the next week from stupid sensitive people. You cant even give them a good listen to anyway because if a chick loves a celebrity on the screen they have to shout "oh my God" and say how much they love him/her. I also couldn't care less about you're constant critiquing of every commercial.
The Girl whose a borderline friend that cooked for acceptance and you know it
Alright so your probably only at the party because your best friend is going out with this guy and you have no where else to watch it. She had to ask her boyfriend to ask his friend if you can come and the guys had a 10 minute roasting of you. Please don't make this game about anything other than this being the championship game. Stop reminding me you brought the cookies I'm eating and asking me if I like them. Thank you for the cookies but your still barely welcome here honey.
Winning the work Superbowl Box
It excites me how many girls participate in Superbowl Box pools. However, I still see right through most of you. You most likely did it without knowing jack shit about it. You also probably didnt even pay for it. You have no clue what your numbers are and then the 1st quarter ended and you got the text that your box hit and you start dancing like its Saturday Night Fever for the rest of the game reminding us that you won some money. Do me a favor, tell somebody else.
Maybe if I'm going to put myself through the stress of having so much money on the game I should just lock myself in my room and watch the Superbowl alone.
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