The 14th day of the second month of the year is hands down the worst day of social media. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Myspace (if thats still a thing. Sorry Tom), and Snapchat are all flooded with "Valentine's love." If your social media followers don't know that your boyfriend got you Sherries Berries, would it really be a Valentine's present? Regardless where you turn, Valentine's Day is red-hot (pun intended), on all social media networks.
It is preposterous seeing the amount of posts from people on Valentine's day. This is simply the number 1 day of the year people urge attention. I mean how in the world can anybody carry on their day without sharing how their Valentine's Day is? It just can't be done! Everyone is going to get hit with a whole bunch of bullshit from every god damn direction because all anybody needs in this world is acknowledgement. I post this blog today to break down the 4 types of people your going to see on your social media pages today.
The Best Boyfriend
First and foremost there is no other place to begin than every single girl having the best boyfriend in the whole wide world. No gift is a gift unless the recipient's followers are apprehensive of the gift they recieved from their Ride-Or-Die. "Ohhh Bae did such a great job. He knows me so well. Always and Forever. Love Ya to the moon and back! What would I do without you! You complete me! My Rock!" Why can't you and your significant other just enjoy your Valentine's Day together? What's funny about these are that you probably know at least 30% of the people posting these are either getting railed out by another dude or are cheating on that very "special" boyfriend. Breakups either happen before or after the big V-Day. Everybody know's that.
The Lonley Valentine
These are the people who cry mercifully for sympathoy. "Ohhhhh my goddddd another year without a Valentine... Just shoot me! OMFG! My life is soooo horrible. I guess it's just another year of Me, Myself, and I. Valentine's Day was only invented to make single people feel like shit..." These are the type of people who would likely post their own present. Usually alcohol. Getting mad originial saying they treated themselves to their own Valentine's Day gift because they don't have a Valentine and are looking for any form of affection. We also can't forget those classic Memes! You cant spell sympathetic without pathetic.
The Food/Pet Poster
"I don't have a Valentine but I have my Doggy!!! He's so cute. My Valentine is pizza because it never disappoints me!" You fucking commiserable losers! It's Valentine's Day so you need a couple of likes to feel better. People post their fucking pet and their "food porn" every day. All of a sudden it becomes their date on Valentine's Day because you need to be included on such an enchanting lovey-dovey day. You suck.
The Anti-Valentines Day Person
This is me! I'm getting all kind of hyprocitial up in this bitch by posting this blog up on social media for ultimately exactly what everybody else posts shit up on their pages for on Valentine's Day... Reads and likes. There are people who will post about other people's post to try to sequentially steal the prize of likes on the holiday of love. Fellow people like me will drop a post mocking the overwhelming amount of Valentine's Day posts.
I wish I wasn't so fucking addicted to scrolling through my phone. I scroll and read the same shit over and over again and lose my god damn mind but I just can't stop! Social Media really does suck. I don't care about what half the people I follow say and I don't know why I even follow them. Still, I occupy so much time on all these social networks. I just can't stand how everything has to be showcased these days. Valentine's Day is suppose to be about you and your fellow love interest and nobody else. That's just not todays world anymore. All my social networking apps will be polluted and infested with ridiculous and unneccessary posts so that we all know the kind of day they had because it wouldn't be the same day if we didn't fucking know about it. This is the world we live in today and the future doesn't look any different. Happy Valentine's Day.
No comments:
Post a Comment