88th Academy Awards Recap

 

The 2016 Oscars Awards was headlined by two things. No black nominations and whether or not Leonardo DiCaprio will finally win Best Actor. The Accademy Awards became a dragging 4 hours of celebrities preaching what's wrong in the world.

After Chris Rock's monologue I turned off the Oscars for about 2 hours because I dont give a shit about animated Short films or Best Foreign-Language Films. Even the 2 hours I watched were too long in my eyes. I thought Lady Gaga gave an excellent performance. Even that covered world issues but I enjoyed the performance. I don't know why musical performances are done at a movie award show but she was good. I guess they just love anything that can drag the show out and give us more commercials inbetween each award. Louis CK was hilarious presenting a dog shit award. Anything that took us away from the diversity was appreciated. All in all, the Oscars are the most prominent award show and there was bigger deals than all the little bullshit our country cares about these days. They actually gave out awards for movies.

Here are some quick hits of my perspective of shit that mattered besides Black Lives at last nights 88th Academy Awards:


 Chris Rock as Host

 I was interested in Chris Rock's opening monolouge. With the awards not having any black nominees, you knew Chris Rock would certainly have something to say about that. It didn't take him very long. I'm sure all you'll hear about is how controversial it was. The first sentence out of the hosts mouth was about it. Rock was funny. He's a hilarious comedian, how could he not be? However, outside of a few funny jokes in his monologue, I didn't care too much for him overall. The girl scout cookie thing was cute. I thought it was funny how he was calling out all the rich movie stars to not be cheap. After the girls came out to sell their cookies, Rock would continiously keep his daughters girl scouts part of the show. The lack of black nominess had every black person addressing it, like Kevin Hart. Diversity became the whole basis of the show. Chris Rock closed the show dropping a "Black Lives Matter" like it wasn't enough already.

Not Enough Michael Strahan

Michael Strahan is one of the best TV personalities these days. Not just because he was a Hall of Fame Defensive End for the New York Giants, but because he is an extremely lovable and funny guy. Strahan was used primarily for the Red Carpet. I would have liked to see him present an award or have some kind of bigger role during the show. He's not a movie star but he's a Superbowl Champion damn it! He was the leader of the team that took down the undefeated Patriots! I guess you could say I just wanted to see Michael Strahan because he was a Hall of Fame Defensive End for the New York Giants.

UPSET! Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Mark Rylance

This was an award many (including Vegas odds) had Slyvester Stallone winning. I haven't seen Bride of Spies but it looks pretty damn good. I'm cool with Mark Rylance winning this award even though I havent even seen the movie. The movie can't be bad. Tom Hanks has the lead role and that motherfucker doesn't make bad movies. The fact that Vegas odds didn't have Rylance as the favorite made this extremely interesting. Vegas oddsmakers sucking everyone into betting Stallone at an afforadble spread (-400). I know a lot of people were upset not to see Stallone win this for his role in Creed but do you really need to see this guy win an Oscar for playing Rocky Balboa for his 7th fucking time? Good for Mark Rylance and his god awful recieding hairline on the Oscar.

 Best Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

Back to Back Champs! Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu takes home his second consecutive Oscar award for Best Director for his job in The Revenant. Alejandro won Best Actor in 2015 for the movie Birdman. Why is it that there's a time limit for their acceptance speeches? I mean people like that fat bitch who won Best Documentary Short shouldn't be getting the same amount of time for her acceptance speech as Best Director. This is a big award and he had to speak over the rude interuption of music signalling the winner to hurry the fuck up. This guys going for a dynasty of Best Director awards. He should have all the time in the world to speak.


Best Actress in a Leading Role: Brie Larson

One of my favorite Red Carpet looks. Everybody looks fucking great at Award shows but Brie Larson had a beautiful dress and I'm a sucker for the color blue. I didn't see Room but it look's pretty good. More people on the internet were buzzing about the little kid Jacob Tremblay than Brie Larson. That kid will probably be landing in a lot more movies. My opinion isn't too worthy for this award because I didn't see any movie these nominees were in but congratulations to Brie Larson and her blue gucci dress.

Best Picture: Spotlight

I don't think I've seen a television commercial for this movie. The only time I knew this movie existed was on Youtube ads. The movie looks really good and has an excellent cast. That dare Rachel McAdams... oh my god do I love her. Spotlight was not promoted as well as it should have been. How much money did this movie make? All of that doen't matter, whether this movie wasn't promoted enough or didn't earn enough, The Oscar speaks for itself. Shoutout to Michael Keeten for starring in consecutive Best Picture nominations.

 Best Actor in a Leading Role: LEONARDO MOTHERFUCKING DICAPRIO

So after splashing water in my eyes trying to stay up till midnight to make sure Leonardo DiCaprio wins this award. We finally got to see him win the only accomplishment this ambitious and gifted actor doesn't have. Not anymore. I touched on guaranteeing Leo would win this award on a previous blog, but I still had to see it to believe it. Most importantly, I wanted to see his acceptance speech. What a letdown that was. Leo had to sit at these awards for his brilliant performances and see somebody else get Best Actor so many times and now that he finally gets the award he talks about.... climate change? FUCKING CLIMATE CHANGE! Talk about how your the best actor in Hollywood and now achieved everything in your career and your going to bang 6 girls at one time tonight. Intead, he dedicated the award to the nature of the earth. Fuck that. Come on man. I guess this is what happens when you literally have absolutely no real problems. Typical 'I'm a great person shit trying to make a difference in the world'. Acceptance speech was a let down. I'm interpreting that speech as just a nice way of saying "Fuck all yall. I'm better than everyone. I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!"