The People vs OJ Simpson is Unintentionally Hilarious

 

No court case in American history is more famous than the OJ Simpson trial. FX came up with the dynamite idea to assemble a star studded cast for a series to relive this trial which consisted of so many notorious incidents. Despite knowing everything that happened in the case, I was pretty enthusiastic about the series and the amassed cast it showcases. However, after the airing of the second episode last night, I find the show to be more comical than riveting.

The FX series is still a must-see for me. I've watched countless of documentarys and youtube videos to not want to see the whole series. I've even learned a new thing in each episode so far. Nicole Simpson really had an open casket. I saw an open casket in the scene of her wake and screamed bullshit. I figured she was stabbed so many times that they wouldn't reveal her body. They even said in the show that she was almost decapitated. Tip of the cap to those mortuary cometologists. I hope they got a raise. I also didn't know this AZ guy was driving his own white Bronco identical to OJ's. I always assumed it was Simpson's vehicle. So somehow they impounded his car with the blood in it and this guy still escaped murder charges. Still so astonishing to me but lets get back on track. I look forward to the rest of the season. What more can they stretch out and turn into unintentional humor?

The People vs OJ Simpson is clearly not suppose to be funny. It's an "American Crime Story" of a factual event. I have so many pet peeves about the show but I'm still going to watch every second of every episode every Tuesday night. Despite the A-List of actors in this, they're performances now bring humor into my life for an hour once a week. Here are my opinions on some of the cast members 2 episodes in. Tuesday nights can't come soon enough.


 David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian

Let' start right here. How can anybody take this guy seriously? I personally think Schwimmer is one of the worst and most annoying actors in Hollywood. I cannot stand his fucking voice. All he does is whine. If he's not actually whining, he sounds like he's whining. Ohh Juice, Juice no, Juice, Juice, Juice, AHHHH SHUT THE FUCK UP! Whenever he said the word "juice" in episode 1 (which is a whole lot) my body would cringe. After watching episode 2, I found myself laughing at this unsatisfactory actor. I'm sure Robert Kardashian didn't sound like Lenny from Of Mice and Men. The best role out there for Schwimmer would be as an animated voiceover for a very slow handicapped person. He would fucking nail that part.

 Cuba Gooding Jr. as Orenthal James Simpson

 I got your back Gooding Jr. The biggest critique I really see on him is based on his physical appearence in relation to OJ. He doesn't sound like him.. he's too small.. and he just doesn't look anything like him. His acting is fine. I mean so far its a lot of crying, but OJ was such a bitch during this time because he was scared of jail. Cuba Gooding Jr. comes out as soft but that's who OJ was. He was a famous and likeable ex football player and actor. James Cameron wanted OJ Simpson to play the Terminator but it was feared he was "too nice" to play the role as a cold blooded killer. Little did they know how mistaken they were about that. Gooding Jr. is a good actor and I don't have any problem wih him in this role.

John Travolta as Robert Shapiro

Ummm what the fuck is up with this guys makeup? I'd rather see Freddy Krueger in my closet than John Travolta as Robert Shapiro. I couldn't even tell you if hes acting well or not because I keep trying to find Vincent Vega under this mask. Speaking of the mask, that's exactly what Travolta looks like in this series. No not Stanley Ipcus' mask, the villain Dorian's mask. Travolta and his clay-face is nightmarish. 

 Sarah Paulson as Marcia Clark

 Probably everybody's favorite character so far. She can't stand how people stand up for OJ because he's famous and she want's him to suffer the consequences he deserves. I'm not going to lie, I still defend Lawrence Taylor for his rape incident so I get why a lot of the public had OJ's back. Paulson is definetly the fan favorite so far and she sucks down cigarettes like a champ. By the way I feel bad for the real Marcia Clark's children because she looks like a straight up fucking bitch.


Courtney B. Vance as Johnny Cochran

Courtney B. Vance is an interesting character. In episode 1 before going on air he says OJ is guilty but then went on air and had OJs back. He hasn't made his way onto Simpson's team yet but the whole race situation is on the horizon in episode 3.  Nobody pulled the race card like attorney Johnny Cochran. He ultimately wins OJ the case because he persuaded the prominently black jury that the police were trying to frame Simpson because of his race. Cochran was the guy you turned to if you were an African American in trouble. He also defended Michael Jackson, Sean Combs, Jim Brown, Snoop Dogg, and other low listed celebrities. Police brutality and racism was Cochran's go-to. Vance seems to play this well but his role hasn't blossomed yet. "If it don't fit you must acquit"

The Kardashian Kids

 
Get fucking lost! The kids have abosultely nothing to do with the OJ Simpson case besides being the daughters of Robert Kardashian. There's no need to show them or address them. But of course, they must be mentioned and shown because theyr'e the most powerful family in television. It was pivotal to cast 6 year olds to play Kim and Chole. Ugh just stop it. In episode 1 they had the enchanting performance of running around at Nicole Simpsons funeral. In episode 2 they blew us all away by yelling "Daddy's on TV!" and then their own last name. So unneccessary. So irrelovant. So Hollywood.

　

I can't wait to laugh at Schwimmer acting, Gooding Jr. crying, Paulson ripping cigarettes, and Travolta creeping the fuck out of the audience. Tuesday nights can't come soon enough.